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View Full Version : Porcupine Metal \m/ >< \m/


ApochWeiss
04-27-2010, 09:12 AM
http://www.metal-archives.com/images/3/5/4/0/3540273910_photo.jpg
BLACK VUL DESTRUKTOR (http://www.metal-archives.com/band.php?id=3540273910)

...Why? As a die hard metal fan, I seriously wanna know. Why the fuck do Black Metal band members feel the need to outdo each other with the fucking spikes?! Satanic porcupines is the only thing that I can think of when I look at this photo and I seriously feel a bit ashamed by such a display of pointiness. Remember when you were a kid and you mother always told you never to run with pointy objects and yelled at you if you ran with scissors? Well their parents must have been fucking BRUTAL with that shit. I mean, this just looks like a big fuck you to their parents. "I'M OLDER! I'LL RUN WITH POINTY OBJECTS ALL I WANT!!!"

I seriously wanna see these guys perform, not because I want to hear their music, but because I want to see them fall and stab each other with the spikes. I mean, just coming near these guys will put your eye out, to hell with the scissors and sharp kitcken utensils. I can see it now, the guitarist stumbles and BAM! Quill through the amp. And they're metal, which is a conductor, so he's dead. And then they'll all stand around going "What the hell, why'd he die?" and some random ass gnome thing would pop out from behind a tree and shout "BECAUSE YE DRESSED LIKE THAT OF A PORCUPINE!" I dunno why the gnome would speak in old English but he would. And then slap his ass while laughing and running away.

I don't know how, and I don't know why, but I blame GWAR for this...

Massa Siggy
04-27-2010, 12:23 PM
I don't know how, and I don't know why, but I blame GWAR for this...


GWAR is to blame for all the world's problems. Including this one...as weird as it may be.

Gorilla Stomper
04-27-2010, 01:12 PM
GWAR aren't to blame, GWAR are infinite win forever. I blame the parents.

hopesfall2win
04-27-2010, 03:14 PM
Why do any bands feel the need to emphasize stuff outside of music? Fucking crabcore bullshit videos all over youtube. Just gimmicks and more gimmicks to take attention off their mediocre music.

Massa Siggy
04-27-2010, 04:22 PM
Fucking crabcore bullshit videos all over youtube.
http://i663.photobucket.com/albums/uu353/dreed8823/Off%20Topic/CRABCORE.gif
Had to do it :p

Tussell
04-27-2010, 04:51 PM
http://i663.photobucket.com/albums/uu353/dreed8823/Off%20Topic/CRABCORE.gif
Had to do it :p
No... You didn't...

Anyways, as much as it sucks, music genre's will pretty much always have a dress code. It's been that way forever, and I don't see it changing anytime soon. It sucks, yes, but oh well.

ApochWeiss
04-27-2010, 05:21 PM
No... You didn't...

Anyways, as much as it sucks, music genre's will pretty much always have a dress code. It's been that way forever, and I don't see it changing anytime soon. It sucks, yes, but oh well.

I understand the Black Metal dress code but jesus christ! Those things are as long as my fucking arm extended!!! My rule of thumb is that spikes on arms for these bands should in no way extend past that of the length of the third leg. That's just fucking crazy and looks ridiculous

Vonzipper
04-27-2010, 05:34 PM
I understand the Black Metal dress code but jesus christ! Those things are as long as my fucking arm extended!!! My rule of thumb is that spikes on arms for these bands should in no way extend past that of the length of the third leg. That's just fucking crazy and looks ridiculous

And that is the Black Metal dress code: fucking crazy and rediculous.
:rock

Tussell
04-27-2010, 05:44 PM
And that is the Black Metal dress code: fucking crazy and rediculous.
:rock
Pretty much.
I mean, when you're burning churches, making necklaces out of your friends skull after he blows his head off with a shotgun, etc. you DESERVE to wear spikes are the length of an arm. I mean, you're obviously brutal.

Muffin the Holy
04-27-2010, 07:57 PM
I've seen all kinds of dress in the black metal scene, but that is pretty ridiculous. The strangest I've seen was probably Drottnar (I think that's how you spell it.) Their a Norweigian black metal band that dress in WWII-era Russian military officer uniforms. They played in my area during a US tour with some local bands.

Volzagia
04-28-2010, 07:12 AM
Haha, It's just what black metal bands do I guess. :p

BarbaricGoose
04-28-2010, 09:41 AM
"Now, boys, you be careful. Don't headbang too hard, or you might poke an eye out!"

That's just a bloody mess waiting to happen. I hope there's an EMT nearby. Oh.. Wait. An eye patch would be brutal. Especially if there was no one to treat your recently gouged out eye..