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View Full Version : So..... Jessica Simpson as Samus?


KFZ Scrubs
06-25-2010, 09:55 PM
http://www.rumormiller.com/viewtopic.php?f=112&t=108
I didn't even know she was playing the part, but above is a leaked screenplay with a little about the movie.

PointPlaceWI
06-25-2010, 10:04 PM
How dare they ruin Metroid with an actress like Jessica Simpson. All an attempt to bring instant recognition to the movie with Jessica Simpson.

Those poor video game movies and their reputations will never be well.

jamie1000013
06-25-2010, 10:33 PM
Samus is a girl?

Just like Zelda is a girl just gets more wierd tbh next your say Lara croft is a girl.

Flapjack Ninja
06-25-2010, 11:56 PM
That's one way to kill off a franchise before it even leaves the starting gates...

Takamura Bear
06-26-2010, 01:07 AM
I'm a Metroid fan, but I always get worried as soon as I see one of favorite games get the movie bullshit treatment.

But taking a look at that leaked script, at least it somewhat shows they're detracting too far away from the game. I want my space pirates, though. :uzi:

Death Metal Jim
06-26-2010, 05:45 AM
Oh god, that sounds like one of the WORST ideas I've ever heard. Who was the imbecile who thought this would be a good idea? There will never be a good video game movie as far as I'm concerned, and this is a perfect example why.

On the flipside, this sounds like a future razzie award winner at least ;).

DOOKH8R
06-26-2010, 05:47 AM
That is some crap.
Should be Ali Larter

BoBoMaster13
06-26-2010, 06:41 AM
She's a dumb ass and a bad actor.

rvlution
06-26-2010, 03:44 PM
That is some crap.
Should be Ali Larter

Oh gosh, I hate her as much as Jessica Simpson. I don't really like Metroid but this is still pretty retarded.

DOOKH8R
06-26-2010, 03:55 PM
Oh gosh, I hate her as much as Jessica Simpson. I don't really like Metroid but this is still pretty retarded.

Umm Ok. Don't really get that, she is pretty benign. How about Rosario Dawson? She is always awesome

hodge
06-26-2010, 04:18 PM
Any film with Jessica Simpson in it is instantly bad

Contrah
06-26-2010, 04:21 PM
Daisy Duke is all I can say.

Nozza XBA
06-26-2010, 04:23 PM
actress like Jessica Simpson

Umm I'm sorry when was JS every an actress.. and a good one at that!

StolenPaper18
06-26-2010, 04:26 PM
That is some crap.
Should be Ali Larter
Umm Ok. Don't really get that, she is pretty benign. How about Rosario Dawson? She is always awesome

Both sound like a better idea. Especially Rosario..:woop:

Flik Nightshade
06-26-2010, 05:11 PM
Not that I have any faith in any video game movie ever, but that's just down right hilarious. Shew.

Burning Karma
06-26-2010, 06:28 PM
:(
This makes me very sad.

Kirye
06-26-2010, 11:11 PM
I haven't played too many of the Metroid games, but.. isn't Samus smart? Why would they cast the dumbest blonde in the history of blondes as an interplanetary bounty hunter?

Apart from that, I can't really think of anyone that could play the part well. Ali Larter wouldn't be right for the part either.

SynysterChris
06-27-2010, 09:39 AM
I was never a big Metroid fan so, I don't really care about a movie. But I think Jessica Simpson is a bad choice for any movie if they want it to be good.

Though I like Ali Larter, so I would probably watch it because she is in it.

VladimirK
06-27-2010, 10:28 AM
director and executive producer Uwe Boll

Has this talentless cunt not given up yet?
Jesus, only close family have to be the only folk that actually buy his DVDs anymore.

Low budget exploitation movies are more impressive than his drivel.
Hell, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is a better movie than any of his stuff.


As for Jessica Simpson, poor choice, only picked for her looks.
Another thing that shows a distinct lack of talent.

PointPlaceWI
06-27-2010, 01:31 PM
Has this talentless cunt not given up yet?

On the website spill.com (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spill.com), all of the hosts believe that the reason for the limited progression of video game movies is due to Boll's continued presence in the genre because movie producers rather give money to a "complete schlock-master" and make a quick buck by attracting the game's fans rather than actually take time and make a decent movie

He is much loved. :p

ApochWeiss
06-27-2010, 02:08 PM
Every part about me had already been turned off to watching a Metroid film with Jessica Simpson as Samus. However, my dominant second brain will probably pay for the ticket and sit through it with high hopes.

On the website spill.com (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spill.com), all of the hosts believe that the reason for the limited progression of video game movies is due to Boll's continued presence in the genre because movie producers rather give money to a "complete schlock-master" and make a quick buck by attracting the game's fans rather than actually take time and make a decent movie

Anyone ever wonder if he may have a 360 and has a user account on here?

VladimirK
06-27-2010, 07:38 PM
Anyone ever wonder if he may have a 360 and has a user account on here?

I hope he does just so that he personally knows how much so many folk hate him.

If he does, I meant what I said.
Fuck off and do something more matched to your level of skill, like fucking TV soap operas.

rvlution
06-27-2010, 08:55 PM
Umm Ok. Don't really get that, she is pretty benign. How about Rosario Dawson? She is always awesome

I don't really have a valid reason but I hated her character[(s)another reason for hate] in Heroes and that quickly transferred over to her.

burningreaper
06-27-2010, 09:12 PM
Wow. The Metroid movie is going to be fantastic. Oscar-worthy even. I'm sure it'll be in the same high regard as the Mario Bros. movie.

AkiraHaz3n
06-27-2010, 09:15 PM
Awesome, but will her fat ass fit in the suit?

BlamelessSoul
06-27-2010, 10:04 PM
not a fan of metroid but this just sounds like a bad idea

KFZ Scrubs
06-28-2010, 02:45 AM
not a fan of metroid but this just sounds like a bad idea
It is, i think when you cast somebody who isn't even an actor to play a part in a movie based on a game which franchise has a ton of fans.....horrible idea. So tired of Hollywood trying to appeal to everybody so they just create a piece of shit with attractive people in it and call it an amazing movie that stays true to the franchise.
I bet more than half the people in there don't even know what the hell Metroid is.

TVthePunisher
06-28-2010, 04:52 AM
At first I thought...oh, Jessica Simpson...the movie is going to bomb. Then I hear Uwe gets it...it was guaranteed a bomb regardless if they had Samus Aran HERSELF playing as...herself.

But taking a look at that leaked script, at least it somewhat shows they're detracting too far away from the game. I want my space pirates, though. :uzi:

How much you want to bet Ridley will be played by Dennis Hop- um, some HUMAN actor? Anybody remember...Mario Bros.? Ridley will have like...a purple outfit on, probably be pale (or make him black, why not...even though he's an ALIEN they can change his race to black if they wanted...look at people wanting Wonderwoman to be Beyonce or how Green Lantern is black in Justice League. I'm not being racist here, I just don't like race-changes/species-change/male-to-female or female-to-male changes in my series! I REALLY DON'T) and have 10 seconds of actual alienish appearance. And mother brain is actually a little girl because that's so loved by VG-movie directors <3

Note: I didn't actually read the leaked script...well, because I didn't want to spoil something that I might actually watch someday =/

KFZ Scrubs
06-28-2010, 05:28 AM
Anything by uwe boll is destined to fail.... yet another reason why this movie will equal epic fail....

ApochWeiss
06-28-2010, 05:50 AM
Oh so wait Uwe IS tapped to do this project after all then?

KFZ Scrubs
06-28-2010, 07:16 AM
Oh so wait Uwe IS tapped to do this project after all then?
Yup, and we all know that nothing ever comes good out of him.... I don't think anyone will be able to make a good career for him. I mean look at Jason Statham when they did that one movie.... wasn't good at all

Purge
06-28-2010, 07:30 AM
Has this talentless cunt not given up yet?
Jesus, only close family have to be the only folk that actually buy his DVDs anymore.

Low budget exploitation movies are more impressive than his drivel.
Hell, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is a better movie than any of his stuff.


As for Jessica Simpson, poor choice, only picked for her looks.
Another thing that shows a distinct lack of talent.

Of course they do, they stick all his films on the fridge so everyone can see them. I'm feeling Kate Beckinsale or Kristen Bell.

SynysterChris
06-28-2010, 08:34 AM
Of course they do, they stick all his films on the fridge so everyone can see them. I'm feeling Kate Beckinsale or Kristen Bell.

Kate Beckinsale is so hot, don't care if she looks like samus or not. Though Kristen Bell could also be a good choice for her. Though it Uwe Boll so I don't think anyone that big will do his movie.

Falcon McSquare
06-28-2010, 10:17 AM
I just died a little inside...

rvlution
06-28-2010, 04:50 PM
Of course they do, they stick all his films on the fridge so everyone can see them. I'm feeling Kate Beckinsale or Kristen Bell.

I would personally cry for Kristen Bell if she were to be in this trash heap.

KFZ Scrubs
06-29-2010, 07:21 PM
I would personally cry for Kristen Bell if she were to be in this trash heap.
Agreed, she'd be perfect for the roll personally....
http://chud.com/articles/content_images/55/kristenbellsmooch.jpghttp://chud.com/articles/content_images/55/kristenbellsmooch.jpg
http://media.photobucket.com/image/samus/GReddyPR/ZeroSuitSamus.png
I mean come on!
Just put on a pony tail and she looks just like her... but then again, Uwe Boll would fuck this up.

KPD7424
11-15-2010, 02:06 AM
She's a dumb ass and a bad actor.

But she has a nice ass. Might look pretty good in the suit. :woop:

Kaktus Fuz
11-16-2010, 11:08 PM
I hope this never gets released. I really don't like Jessica Simpson.

FPS GLIMMER
11-16-2010, 11:36 PM
Why god!??!?! Why!?!!?!!?!

Lord Montymort
11-17-2010, 12:59 AM
Agreed, she'd be perfect for the roll personally....
http://chud.com/articles/content_images/55/kristenbellsmooch.jpghttp://chud.com/articles/content_images/55/kristenbellsmooch.jpg
http://media.photobucket.com/image/samus/GReddyPR/ZeroSuitSamus.png
I mean come on!
Just put on a pony tail and she looks just like her... but then again, Uwe Boll would fuck this up.

Agreed, Kristen Bell would be perfect, and if the film actually had her and a good director I would be first in line to watch it, as it is I feel ashamed to even own Metroid games right now.

Volzagia
11-17-2010, 01:04 AM
Uwe Boll and Jessica Simpson? http://motivateurself.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/nuke-it-from-orbit.jpg

PsychoPandaRR
11-17-2010, 05:07 AM
Jessica Simpson?! Please don't screw it up with her presence! I'd rather see Blake Lively, Jessica Beil, Scarlet Johanson, Reese Whitherspoon, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Charlize Theron, etc.


Hell take a look at this picture of Reese Witherspoon, does that not look like samus?
http://gallery.allwomenstalk.com/2010/10/25-hottest-blonde-celebrities/reese-witherspoon_25-hottest-blonde-celebrities.jpg

And now Blake Lively....



http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Ch6fFuCHtSE/SgsV-UaaeNI/AAAAAAAAAmk/dzI8nIhu0MA/s400/blake-lively-met-costume-institute-gala-2009-10.jpg


yeah, these two make a better samus and THEY ARE actresses..

Vigor
11-17-2010, 05:17 AM
At least her dental work is okay..

http://i992.photobucket.com/albums/af45/UKNOWTHEIROUTTHEIR/GirlS%20Mouth/js-1.jpg

XxBlueSpade2xX
11-17-2010, 05:56 AM
Video games just don't transfer well, even if their stories are great. I am so afraid a Halo film would be made.... Or GoW.