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Importz2k9
10-23-2010, 08:50 PM
I have a 9 yr old son that is looking for friends around his age. The problem I'm having is that there is no way to tell someone's age. I am constantly accepting friends for him (parental control) only to find out they are 16 or older and then deleting them. I've already heard other kids cursing him out, kicking him from games and threatning him. (Thought live was supposed to be fun for them)..........right...

Is there any way through parental controls to only accept friend requests from kids his age? Or an age limit that can be set by me? I've looked everywhere on the console but can't find anything. I have him set on friends only for EVERYTHING. Anyone have any suggestions?

Thanks.

Flik Nightshade
10-23-2010, 08:56 PM
As far as I know, there is not an age filter through the dashboard parental settings. As for trying to find people his age.. that's going to be a little harder. There might be communities online for parents trying to help their young children with this.. perhaps. But I'm not for certain.

the Damage617
10-23-2010, 08:56 PM
I have a 9 yr old son that is looking for friends around his age. The problem I'm having is that there is no way to tell someone's age. I am constantly accepting friends for him (parental control) only to find out they are 16 or older and then deleting them. I've already heard other kids cursing him out, kicking him from games and threatning him. (Thought live was supposed to be fun for them)..........right...

Is there any way through parental controls to only accept friend requests from kids his age? Or an age limit that can be set by me? I've looked everywhere on the console but can't find anything. I have him set on friends only for EVERYTHING. Anyone have any suggestions?

Thanks.

I don't believe its possible to set age limits for friend requests. Can I ask what games your son is playing? If he's playing Call Of Duty types games it might be hard to find children around his age.

beezee_boi
10-23-2010, 09:10 PM
I think microsoft should look into this and set up a sort of "jungle gym" type play area for pre teen and younger kids to socialize (respectfully and admirably ... hopefully) and play games together

ginge88isfun
10-23-2010, 09:13 PM
Well its good to see a parent who actually limits what his child can and does on xbox live, but depending on what games you let your child play on then its always going be hard to find other children in the same age bracket that are decent and not total douchebags.

ChArG1nMaLAZ0R
10-23-2010, 09:16 PM
Let him play any 18 rated game and it will be full of 9 year olds

am i rite guys haha

ok all joking aside there really isnt a way to tell. But having said that no matter what age gamer they play with they are going to be just the same. i mean some of the worst language and discussions i hear on the xbox is from kids in their early teens and younger.

best bet is to either just not let him add random people and let him add his real life friends or avoid it all together until they are a bit older. hes young and playing online just really isnt for kids its full of the worst people known to man and isnt all that pleasent.

the Damage617
10-23-2010, 09:20 PM
Let him play any 18 rated game and it will be full of 9 year olds

am i rite guys haha


Agree lol.. But lets give the OP the benefit of the doubt and find out what games the kid is playing first.

LuckyFox666
10-23-2010, 09:20 PM
I have a 9 yr old son that is looking for friends around his age. The problem I'm having is that there is no way to tell someone's age. I am constantly accepting friends for him (parental control) only to find out they are 16 or older and then deleting them. I've already heard other kids cursing him out, kicking him from games and threatning him. (Thought live was supposed to be fun for them)..........right...

Is there any way through parental controls to only accept friend requests from kids his age? Or an age limit that can be set by me? I've looked everywhere on the console but can't find anything. I have him set on friends only for EVERYTHING. Anyone have any suggestions?

Thanks.

You could try and put his age and that his looking for friends his age, in his biography?

maybe it might work

Starstrukk X360A
10-23-2010, 09:45 PM
Unfortunately there's no way to filter them out by age.
The only thing I suggest doing is adding people you and your son know personally (I've done this before and it's worked out fine (: )

I've added family members and friends of mine that aren't complete dicks onto her gamertag. Nothing bad has come out of it so far.

Importz2k9
10-23-2010, 09:48 PM
I let him play games like Forza, Gears, Halo, Crackdown, Splinter Cell ......... He's not allowed to play anything like Grand Theft Auto, Saint's Row or any games of that nature.
Occasionally I let him play MW2 and Left For Dead with friends or myself.
It's really hard to monitor sometimes because games can fool you. He's at the age where he doesn't want to play Kung Fu Panda anymore (because it's not cool) and wants to play what dad does. I try to test out every game first before letting him try it but that doesn't always work. The only other option that I can think of is to just take live away until he get's older, but that would really suck.

Thanks everyone for you're answers, I can only hope that MS see's this as a problem and can do something about it in the future. I've thought about writing to them but figure they won't give me the time of day.

ChArG1nMaLAZ0R
10-23-2010, 09:59 PM
you could always just tell him to play online without friends. i mean they arent necessary to enjoy an online game.

Importz2k9
10-23-2010, 10:10 PM
you could always just tell him to play online without friends. i mean they arent necessary to enjoy an online game.

Unfortunately, that's where all my problems began. It's like throwing a bleeding seal into shark infested waters. If it was up to me I wouldn't let him play online at all, but since i have to try and be fair..............well you know the rest.

guillermo316
10-24-2010, 03:29 AM
You could have the "talk". tell him what to expect and hey MUte them. i mean he doesn't have to play with a headset. Be like hey son were low on money i have to feed you, so i'm going to have to sell your mic. lol anyways idk

Burning Karma
10-24-2010, 03:52 AM
You could try and put his age and that his looking for friends his age, in his biography?

maybe it might work
I don't think that's a good route. Too many things can go wrong.

Honestly, I think the best route is just to have him game online with friends he already has irl. At that age, it can be really difficult to find others near his age online.

TacticalTodger
10-24-2010, 04:05 AM
Personally your 9 year old son should be playing outside, I think anybody who is under 13 should not be on a video game, and anybody who lets their child on the xbox is a bad parent because most do it for an easy life so they don't have the kid arguging, most kids under a certain age will be abused because of their voice I know some are ok and your kid may be the exception but still they will cuss you out with funny cuss words and will make annoying noises.

nevermindaboutme
10-24-2010, 08:02 AM
Personally your 9 year old son should be playing outside, I think anybody who is under 13 should not be on a video game, and anybody who lets their child on the xbox is a bad parent because most do it for an easy life so they don't have the kid arguging, most kids under a certain age will be abused because of their voice I know some are ok and your kid may be the exception but still they will cuss you out with funny cuss words and will make annoying noises.

I think anyone over 13 should be able to punctuate a sentence properly - stop telling people how to parent sometimes its just not possible for a child to play outside.

Anyway, I say possibly play with him? Or best find out if his real life friends have Xbox?

ToTaL EclipsEz
10-24-2010, 08:18 AM
To be honest I wouldn't let him add any friends he doesn't know in real life. There's no point adding random people who you'll never see, and the majority of the time the people being added just find it annoying. Just my opinion.

Evo Kazz
10-24-2010, 08:25 AM
Well here is what I do, my son is only 5, he sometimes jumps on my console, but I throw him on a profile setup especially for him, with full parental control, and the account has no XBOX Live assigned to it, so no connection basically.

My daughter on the other hand, she is 12, and she is always asking to meet people on XBL to make friends with, her account is setup for XBL, but I refuse to buy her gold, as I feel she is too young to be playing in a male dominated sector, where most of the gamers are older. I let her play more or less any game I own, within reason, we did Saints Row 2 coop together over system link using mine and her console (bought second copy of the game) so I am fair with her, but when she starts moaning about XBL, that's when the iron hammer comes down!

I met her half way as her argument was she wanted avatar items, DLC, and the odd XBL game, so I made her account, but still declined her gold request. She recieved 4 weeks free gold when we signed up, and I let her online, on her account, but I took her headset away from her during this period, and setup full parental controls. Her account is also set to private in every way.

ChArG1nMaLAZ0R
10-24-2010, 09:01 AM
Personally your 9 year old son should be playing outside, I think anybody who is under 13 should not be on a video game, and anybody who lets their child on the xbox is a bad parent because most do it for an easy life so they don't have the kid arguging, most kids under a certain age will be abused because of their voice I know some are ok and your kid may be the exception but still they will cuss you out with funny cuss words and will make annoying noises.

To be fair dude i started playing games at 3 and shock horror i also played outside. crazy i know but you can do both

mitchcraft1980
10-24-2010, 09:06 AM
you know what would be better letting him pick for him self, if hes 9 im sure he can use a forum no worries and at that age you can pretty much tell who your going to get on with and who not so why not let him have a bit of freedom and he might be able to find kids his own age him self.

I can understand your worries but i know i wouldnt want my parents picking my friends then removing them from my list for me .

ImNoAchWhore
10-24-2010, 10:11 AM
80% of halo 3's players are 8-10 years old.

Burning Karma
10-24-2010, 04:37 PM
80% of halo 3's players are 8-10 years old.
And 99.9% of them are annoying as hell. >.>

LordBiff
10-24-2010, 07:22 PM
The bottom line is, there not going to be a way to do it. Even if MS did add a "only allow me to add friends in *this* age range" feature, if you think about it, most of the profiles will be the parents, brother, or whatever, and a lot of people probably don't take the time to make it right.

My advice, such as it is, is that the only way to really know what he's getting into is to be there with him. This is true for all aspects of parenting, BTW, not just online gaming. There is NO way I'd turn my 9-year-old loose on any part of the internet without pretty close attention on my part.

JAW LV
10-25-2010, 06:57 PM
My only suggestion- be very active in their gaming activites. Unfortunately as others have already mentioned Xbox currently does not have an age filter.

I have a 9yr old and a 6yr old. Both don't play games that much but when they do it's either harmless Wii stuff offline or I am with them when they are playing Xbox online. The only friends they have on Xbox are those they know personally from school, or relatives. If I don't know the person then they are not going to be on their friends list... bottom line.

nappster187
10-25-2010, 07:08 PM
not for nothing, but the games are rated M for a reason.... 9 year olds should not be playing gears halo or anyother game rated M,.....they are for older kids, so i see why this would be a problem....I would recommend sports games, racing games or Kinect.

and if you really want your kid playing those games, don't give them a mic or show their age in their profile...that would fix the cursing at him and what not.

TakahashiDemon
10-25-2010, 07:28 PM
Your kid shouldnt be playing Gears.. theres other types of games for his age group, make him try something like Tekken, or a platformer game sorta like Sonic, Banzo Kazooie has online in it, he might find his own age group there.

Eggnogga
10-25-2010, 07:45 PM
I think you could just post some fliers up around town: "Add me on xbox. I am looking for young boys to play games with." =P

In all seriousness -- It will be extremely hard for xbox to set something up that I'm assuming you're thinking should be out there. Its a great idea, and I do agree... but too many times you're gonna have creepo's giving themselves a younger age so they can get into these types of "kid rooms."

As starstrukk mentioned just keep it to people he knows. Either family members or kids he goes to school with.

Tufty
10-25-2010, 07:51 PM
Your kid shouldnt be playing Gears.. theres other types of games for his age group, make him try something like Tekken, or a platformer game sorta like Sonic, Banzo Kazooie has online in it, he might find his own age group there.

You won't find anyone on those games, trust me.

Fishman
10-25-2010, 07:53 PM
Well here is what I do, my son is only 5, he sometimes jumps on my console, but I throw him on a profile setup especially for him, with full parental control, and the account has no XBOX Live assigned to it, so no connection basically.

My daughter on the other hand, she is 12, and she is always asking to meet people on XBL to make friends with, her account is setup for XBL, but I refuse to buy her gold, as I feel she is too young to be playing in a male dominated sector, where most of the gamers are older. I let her play more or less any game I own, within reason, we did Saints Row 2 coop together over system link using mine and her console (bought second copy of the game) so I am fair with her, but when she starts moaning about XBL, that's when the iron hammer comes down!

I met her half way as her argument was she wanted avatar items, DLC, and the odd XBL game, so I made her account, but still declined her gold request. She recieved 4 weeks free gold when we signed up, and I let her online, on her account, but I took her headset away from her during this period, and setup full parental controls. Her account is also set to private in every way.

I pretty much agree with everything here, I think this is the best option.

The one thing I would like to add is some of the games out there (M rated ones) can have content in them almost, if not just as bad as what you would encounter online in multiplayer.

Fracture
10-25-2010, 07:53 PM
Just buy your kid a Wii, that is designed for kids :)

Fishman
10-25-2010, 07:57 PM
Just buy your kid a Wii, that is designed for kids :)

Another thing I agree with, that idea totally slipped my mind. The Xbox and PS3 are designed more towards an older audience. Buying a Wii + minimal monitoring = everybody is happy.

Spiked12
10-25-2010, 08:17 PM
I think microsoft should look into this and set up a sort of "jungle gym" type play area for pre teen and younger kids to socialize (respectfully and admirably ... hopefully) and play games together

Try contacting Xbox Live i.e. through phone or email support.

EliteShadowMan
10-25-2010, 08:22 PM
i don't see the big deal...? i was playing stuff online and what not when i was 9...or maybe 11 i can't remember lol.

Let him add anyone that he wants cause in all honesty he's already playing Gears and all those other violent games..i don't see why an older person who swears would be that big of a deal, unless if you have your kid playing Single Player on mute where he doesn't hear any bad language.

I was in a clan for Medal of Honor: Allied Assault on the pc when it first came out and i was pretty young then and i still got along with everyone and what not.

MC B0B x360a
10-25-2010, 09:27 PM
A couple different things you could do. First is i wouldn't let him play online unless it is with friends he actually knows in real life. Second do not use a headset. A headset is sure fire way for your son to hear some pretty awful things. Unfortunately these games just arent made for 9 year olds so its hard to protect against them. the other option is to download arcade games for him to play. They are fun and most you dont need to play online. In the end though if he is on XBL he is bound to hear some pretty crappy things, even if you try and stop it.

Importz2k9
10-27-2010, 06:01 PM
What, do you think 16 year old Cod fanboys want to have sex with your 9 year old? Don't accept any friend requests then.

Why does someone always have to be a dick?

Did you even take the time to read my question? Thanks for the intellectual advise (it's totally useless).

oCoRuPt
10-28-2010, 04:22 AM
Well here is what I do, my son is only 5, he sometimes jumps on my console, but I throw him on a profile setup especially for him, with full parental control, and the account has no XBOX Live assigned to it, so no connection basically.

My daughter on the other hand, she is 12, and she is always asking to meet people on XBL to make friends with, her account is setup for XBL, but I refuse to buy her gold, as I feel she is too young to be playing in a male dominated sector, where most of the gamers are older. I let her play more or less any game I own, within reason, we did Saints Row 2 coop together over system link using mine and her console (bought second copy of the game) so I am fair with her, but when she starts moaning about XBL, that's when the iron hammer comes down!

I met her half way as her argument was she wanted avatar items, DLC, and the odd XBL game, so I made her account, but still declined her gold request. She recieved 4 weeks free gold when we signed up, and I let her online, on her account, but I took her headset away from her during this period, and setup full parental controls. Her account is also set to private in every way.

I agree with evokazz also i think you can have it where everyone is muted so that cuts out the inappropriate language

Blue Radium
10-28-2010, 05:21 AM
If you have a 9 year old who you want to keep sheltered from constant verbal abuse, then he pretty much can't socially play any sort of public match on LIVE. If he talks at all, his presumably child-like voice will prompt people to assume he is too young to play the game/a useless member of the team due to lack of ability. It would probably be best to go to the options and turn down the voices of other players to 0 as well. Finding very young friends to play private matches with would be quite difficult, and would have to be fully regulated by you as the parent. You would have to find the people, add them, etc.

Opiate42
10-28-2010, 02:46 PM
My nephew got Gold for his 9th birthday. What my brother in law and sister did is they laid out "the rules of engagement" beforehand that he's only allowed to add friends to his list that are people they know personally. Pretty much what McBob said.

Being Mr. Uncle I'm on his list, his teenage babysitter friends are, a few close family friends and their kids, and kids they know from his school, soccer, martial arts and kids from the neighbourhood they get on well with.

As you've discovered, adding friends from solely the online world can be...rather hit and mostly miss. He understands that adults in the online gaming world are even more juvenile most of the time than kids his own age so he doesn't complain about the full parental controls. He hears enough inappropriate language from me and his grandfather when we're out fishing HAHA!

RenegadeFlanker
10-28-2010, 02:50 PM
If you want your son to have a positive experience on XBL without cursing or all the negative stuff your lookin in the wrong place. Throw out ur xbox and get a wii. Its a far inferior console but it lacks alot of the negativity attributed with the 360 or PS3.

Chipsonfire
10-28-2010, 07:58 PM
Well here is what I do, my son is only 5, he sometimes jumps on my console, but I throw him on a profile setup especially for him, with full parental control, and the account has no XBOX Live assigned to it, so no connection basically.

My daughter on the other hand, she is 12, and she is always asking to meet people on XBL to make friends with, her account is setup for XBL, but I refuse to buy her gold, as I feel she is too young to be playing in a male dominated sector, where most of the gamers are older. I let her play more or less any game I own, within reason, we did Saints Row 2 coop together over system link using mine and her console (bought second copy of the game) so I am fair with her, but when she starts moaning about XBL, that's when the iron hammer comes down!

I met her half way as her argument was she wanted avatar items, DLC, and the odd XBL game, so I made her account, but still declined her gold request. She recieved 4 weeks free gold when we signed up, and I let her online, on her account, but I took her headset away from her during this period, and setup full parental controls. Her account is also set to private in every way.
Again, this.

I personally wouldn't let my kid play online. There are some bad, bad people out there, and anonymity does strange things to people. I'm actually quite happy playing games by myself. I'm fairly new to the xbox scene and don't know a lot of people who own one. If he wants to play multiplayer, he can play with you or have some friends over.

sak7395
10-28-2010, 08:13 PM
Depending on what game hes playing I think he should be fine, in most cods mainly mw2 your bound to get a lot of trash talk, just don't let him use a microphone.

Genesis x360a
10-28-2010, 08:24 PM
Shouldn't your son be playing with toys, friends, going outside Etc. Im not by any means telling you how to raise your children (Thats not my job) but when i was 9 i wasn't spending my days playing video games. If your worrying that much about who he plays with maybe you just shouldn't let him play XBL and just keep it to offline.

Importz2k9
10-28-2010, 09:33 PM
Shouldn't your son be playing with toys, friends, going outside Etc. Im not by any means telling you how to raise your children (Thats not my job) but when i was 9 i wasn't spending my days playing video games. If your worrying that much about who he plays with maybe you just shouldn't let him play XBL and just keep it to offline.

Although I agree with you, things have changed since we were kids. I'm 42, was born and raised in Queens, NY. When I was 9 yrs old we could go outside and not have to worry about anything except for being a kid. (not anymore). We now live out in the sticks near Atlanta and none of my kids have friends within walking distance. My wife and I both work from home (12-14 hrs a day) so taking the kids out all the time is pretty much out of the question. Hence the reason for the Xbox.
I will however probably wind up taking everyone's advise and not let him play online anymore until he gets older.
I just thought it would be a cool feature on the Xbox if you could filter ages is all.
Thanks to all who have given your input. I appreciate it.

Burning Karma
10-29-2010, 02:40 AM
Shouldn't your son be playing with toys, friends, going outside Etc. Im not by any means telling you how to raise your children (Thats not my job) but when i was 9 i wasn't spending my days playing video games.
Really? Cause I'm sure quite a few people on here were gaming when that were that age, if not younger.

ChromiumDragon
10-29-2010, 04:23 AM
Unfortunately, that's where all my problems began. It's like throwing a bleeding seal into shark infested waters. If it was up to me I wouldn't let him play online at all, but since i have to try and be fair..............well you know the rest.

You're the parent. It is up to you. If this is your attitude now, you're going to have a hell of a lot of trouble keeping him under control in a few years.

I've got a 10 year old boy myself. Under no circumstances is he allowed to have any friends on his buddy list unless I know them personally. Gears of War? COD? Halo? Not a chance in hell. He's a 10 year old, and he plays games that are appropriate for 10 year olds to play.

He doesn't bitch and moan because he knows the alternative is no X-Box/PS3.

Although I agree with you, things have changed since we were kids. I'm 42, was born and raised in Queens, NY. When I was 9 yrs old we could go outside and not have to worry about anything except for being a kid. (not anymore). We now live out in the sticks near Atlanta and none of my kids have friends within walking distance. My wife and I both work from home (12-14 hrs a day) so taking the kids out all the time is pretty much out of the question. Hence the reason for the Xbox.

I'm not going to comment much here since I don't really have a clue about your personal situation, other than to say that keeping him parked in front of an X-Box isn't good for him in the long term. He needs to be outside every once in a while.

Consider after-school activities. Youth groups. Day camps. Church services, if you're religious.

I'm in my late 30s myself. I know the options of "just being a kid" aren't the same now as it was back in the 80s. But there are still options out there above and beyond parking the kid in front of the X-Box.

I will however probably wind up taking everyone's advise and not let him play online anymore until he gets older.
I just thought it would be a cool feature on the Xbox if you could filter ages is all.
Thanks to all who have given your input. I appreciate it.

Even if there was, how would they go about enforcing it?

There's nothing stopping some 16 year old kid who wants to beat up on 9 year olds on COD from pretending he's a 9 year old himself. Or worse, some pedo. There's no way for Microsoft to prove that the guy on the other side of the screen is or isn't some 40 year old whacko, or your son's 4th grade classmate.

As most others have said, your best bet is to restrict his online activities and only allow buddies on his list that you know personally. Don't take his word for it that creepygamer156 is really Sally that sits two seats over from him in school. Call Sally's parents and ask.

Oh, and ditch the headset. Nothing good can come out of a 9 year old on X-Box with a headset. Nothing.

Eviltoastman
10-29-2010, 05:11 AM
Another thing I agree with, that idea totally slipped my mind. The Xbox and PS3 are designed more towards an older audience. Buying a Wii + minimal monitoring = everybody is happy.


Not at all. They're not designed for an older audience. In fact Microsoft itself has made a concerted effort to capture a younger audience. With Kinect and many of it's titles and PS3 enjoy some of the better child or family based titles such as little big world.

Nintendo has always adopted a child friendly policy across its platform since year dot, even trying (unsuccessfully) to ban Mortal Kombat. They actuively disapprove of adult gaming.

Microsoft and Sony do not actively try to stop and hinder children's games on their platforms. They encourage it. At the Original Xbox launch many of the ads were grim and one in particular was banned:

YouTube - Banned XBoX Commercial

Microsoft at this point clearly had an agenda. They wanted to compete with Sony, not Nintendo. Sony were edgy and had cornered the "mature" gamer market with the failure of the Dreamcast in the West. This allowed the Gamecube and the Wii to corner the family gaming market which ironically is one of the most lucrative gaming sectors.

The development and (remote) success of the Eyetoy, the Xbox 360 avatar dash, kinect are all evidences that Microsoft and Sony do not intend to allow Nintendo to keep this market to themselves.

So whilst it was true historically, it has not been true that PS and XB are geared more towards adults or teens as increasingly children and families are at the forefront of their marketing strategies.

Wortsenawl
10-29-2010, 09:33 AM
I have a mate in my friends list who has a couple of kids in the 8-12 yr range and he allows them to play all sorts of games online, but at the same time, often he brings the kids in the games with us (when we play Left 4 Dead, MW2 or Gears). We all try and keep our behaviour in check when his boys are on.

To be fair, they don't seem too traumatized by the experience of online gaming.

Me, I think I would take the same attitude with online gaming as I would with cigarettes. You wanna smoke, here smoke the whole pack and I guarantee you wont want another in your life... with online, force them into MW2 for a whole day...they will never go near live again! (that's a joke, I would do neither). It's odd, online seems like the greatest thing when you can't have it, then when you can, you can't bear to play online in your favourite games - like so much in life, the idea is far better than the reality.

I would, in all seriousness, tell him no. But let him play occasionally with you and your friends. Then he gets to play with dad and dad's friends, you spend time playing together, he plays properly with adults and it is controlled.

As for all those citing "he should be playing outside", what a crock of shite. I am 37 and video games were nowhere near as prevalent when I was a kid, but my god I loved playing computer games as much as I could. Equally though, I loved playing sport. Its about balance. Refusing a kid a console game is only going to make them more desperate for one and less responsible about playing them.

wexnlex
10-29-2010, 01:28 PM
This is kinda OT, but kids playing games and their parents buying them is one of the huge revenue drivers that help keep profits up, and Xbox not going the way of Dreamcast. Kinda a necessary evil.

God knows MS doesn't make much of broke ass adults that just gamefly and rent games or get them 2nd hand =P

Not to say every adult is poor by any means but I totally fall in the above catagory.

Br0kenAssass1n
10-29-2010, 07:01 PM
I let him play games like Forza, Gears, Halo, Crackdown, Splinter Cell ......... He's not allowed to play anything like Grand Theft Auto, Saint's Row or any games of that nature.
Occasionally I let him play MW2 and Left For Dead with friends or myself.
It's really hard to monitor sometimes because games can fool you. He's at the age where he doesn't want to play Kung Fu Panda anymore (because it's not cool) and wants to play what dad does. I try to test out every game first before letting him try it but that doesn't always work. The only other option that I can think of is to just take live away until he get's older, but that would really suck.

Thanks everyone for you're answers, I can only hope that MS see's this as a problem and can do something about it in the future. I've thought about writing to them but figure they won't give me the time of day.

You let him play Gears but not GTA? I s'pose you've got the benefit of Gears being a fantasy world, but still, that's like allowing a kid to watch normal porn, but not anal. I'm good with metaphors!

Anyway, this particular problem is something you should suggest to Microsoft, as surely you're not the only one with this problem? If EVERYONE took the 'they won't listen' approach, nothing would get done.

Failing that, GetStarStrukk is onto a winner.

Gackt
10-29-2010, 07:08 PM
I let him play games like Forza, Gears, Halo, Crackdown, Splinter Cell ......... He's not allowed to play anything like Grand Theft Auto, Saint's Row or any games of that nature.
Occasionally I let him play MW2 and Left For Dead with friends or myself.
It's really hard to monitor sometimes because games can fool you. He's at the age where he doesn't want to play Kung Fu Panda anymore (because it's not cool) and wants to play what dad does. I try to test out every game first before letting him try it but that doesn't always work. The only other option that I can think of is to just take live away until he get's older, but that would really suck.

Thanks everyone for you're answers, I can only hope that MS see's this as a problem and can do something about it in the future. I've thought about writing to them but figure they won't give me the time of day.

You are worried about people swearing at your kid and you let him play Violent Bloody games like Gears of War lol. I have no advice for you other then keep your damn kid off M rated games before complaining about not finding nice little kids for him to play with.

EmporerDragon
10-30-2010, 02:29 AM
You are worried about people swearing at your kid and you let him play Violent Bloody games like Gears of War lol.

Well, it's not as bad when you have the content filter on:
http://img804.imageshack.us/img804/3506/347803363pghtxl2.jpg

Genesis x360a
10-31-2010, 01:29 AM
Really? Cause I'm sure quite a few people on here were gaming when that were that age, if not younger.

Im not saying that people didn't play video games at that age. Damn even i jumped on the old SNES and Mega Drive for a few games but most of the time i was out hanging with friends, playing with toys Etc. Not glued to a TV screen all day.

Like the OP mentioned times have changed and moved on and parents cant let there children play outside without worrying anymore, so they have to find something else to keep there children ocupied. Good choice in keeping it to offline only untill he becomes a little older.

Eviltoastman
10-31-2010, 06:23 AM
I watched video nasties from a very young age. I games from 1982 onwards and was absolutely glued to the TV as often as possible playing the 2600, my Nes and Amstrad CPC.

I had no content control from my parents and I personally have a very high and strict set of moral standards and do no engage in violence. I can control my temper and I seem far calmer than my non-gaming friends. I can distinguish clearly between real and fantasy violence something the critics of video game violence feel is lost on gamers exposed to violence. I abhor real violence, for example I'd rather watch PG WWE than MMA.

It could be argued that gamers at least vent and other socialized men have no real outlet but violent expression (thankfully western culture towards men and feelings is changing). The main criticism historically over gaming stems from the establishment being completely unsure how games are socialising the youth as all other facets of education have been neutered and sterilised.

I'm articulate, bright and a little unsociable which could be in part caused by an over exposure to video games, but I wouldn't say it was because of an overexpose to violence.

Though I wouldn't want my children exposed to gore and bad language in the cinema or in gaming, or to mingle with the unholy and seemingly unregulated Xbox live multi-player experience I would allow them to play games recommended for older children (mind are 10, 7 and 5) as long as I personally have experienced the content and know how close to the bone the content was.

seahn
10-31-2010, 06:48 AM
being an avid "gamer" myself, and trying to help my nephew around the same age and his mom do the same... really all i can say is the only people you know are under 16, are the friends your child has in real life (assuming he/she has some, nothing wrong with not having any real friends that have 360s)

my nephew was told very sternly by myself (for good reason as i know most of you know) not to accept any in coming friend request, and not to requests any strangers as well, this was when i was at his house, and all was well, about a week after i got home, i was talking to his mother as she was concerned because he was talking to someone that isn't me (i also set it so he could only talk to friends, and she knew at the time he only had a few we allowed). my nephew likes to talk to people, and because i wasn't always wanting to talk to him when i was playing certain games (mainly RPG games that i actually wanted to listen to, because like i said, he is a talker) so he invited 12 or so people to be friends with, and when his mom called me, i found this out threw his gamertag, by going to view friends (*EDIT threw my online account and viewing his friends, sorry for any misunderstanding there) (which is actually a pretty good parenting tool, if only they had a parental control account, that allowed you to monitor and delete friends)...

in conclusion the biggest thing you can do is watch your kids, and don't take this as a personal attack, but having your child on an online gaming system is a privilege not a right, and it is your responsibility to monitor what he/she gets from the experience, explain to your child that this is a privilege and not a right, and that the privilege can be taken away if strict guidelines are not met with keeping things private as he/she is a child.

im not trying to be a nazi about this, but i keep video gaming sacred, and want to share it with children (my own especially, including my nephew of coarse), but i want those children to be monitored and under control so not only do they get a good and healthy experience, but i too have an enjoyable experience (im refereeing to children acting childish, and yet we know that 16+ year olds cry and moan like babies more than anyone on LIVE)

also i wouldn't go on an online forum and give your child's age, regardless of what is in your account info, i just wouldn't risk it (once again, not a personal attack, but maybe maybe next time just say under 10, which can still be too much info, but still)

you can PM if you like so your child can add my nephew, i cant grantee his language though, he doesn't curse around me or his mother, but i know how i was at that age

also, someone else mentioned maybe a site especially for the purpose of getting kids together for gaming, which is a good idea, but in itself gains attention of the sickos you want kept away from your children...

so once again, its mainly your responsibility to pay attention to the games they are playing, and the people they are communicating with... wow, i didn't mean for this to be a fergin PSA

seahn
10-31-2010, 06:55 AM
I watched video nasties from a very young age. I games from 1982 onwards and was absolutely glued to the TV as often as possible playing the 2600, my Nes and Amstrad CPC.

I had no content control from my parents and I personally have a very high and strict set of moral standards and do no engage in violence. I can control my temper and I seem far calmer than my non-gaming friends. I can distinguish clearly between real and fantasy violence something the critics of video game violence feel is lost on gamers exposed to violence. I abhor real violence, for example I'd rather watch PG WWE than MMA.

It could be argued that gamers at least vent and other socialized men have no real outlet but violent expression (thankfully western culture towards men and feelings is changing). The main criticism historically over gaming stems from the establishment being completely unsure how games are socialising the youth as all other facets of education have been neutered and sterilised.

I'm articulate, bright and a little unsociable which could be in part caused by an over exposure to video games, but I wouldn't say it was because of an overexpose to violence.

Though I wouldn't want my children exposed to gore and bad language in the cinema or in gaming, or to mingle with the unholy and seemingly unregulated Xbox live multi-player experience I would allow them to play games recommended for older children (mind are 10, 7 and 5) as long as I personally have experienced the content and know how close to the bone the content was.

i agree, and feel i have been raised similarly, and feel the same way about the world as you do (if that makes sense).

but the big difference in our bringing up with video games is that we were there for the dawning, if you will, of the video game, and saw it grow from a beep and a boop, with 2 different colors on the screen, to the vibrant realistic games of today, so we never had the challenge to question if it were real or fantasy because we have seen it grow and mature into what is now, where as kids immersed in it today immediately see these images that imitate real life, and real life situations.

my point isn't to argue with you, rather to agree with what you have stated, and add upon it

seahn
10-31-2010, 07:09 AM
Another thing I agree with, that idea totally slipped my mind. The Xbox and PS3 are designed more towards an older audience. Buying a Wii + minimal monitoring = everybody is happy.

agreed, but Microsoft have been diligently working for the last 2-3 years to change that...

if you watch any E3 converge for the last 3 years you will see what i am talking about

seahn
10-31-2010, 07:29 AM
Although I agree with you, things have changed since we were kids. I'm 42, was born and raised in Queens, NY. When I was 9 yrs old we could go outside and not have to worry about anything except for being a kid. (not anymore). We now live out in the sticks near Atlanta and none of my kids have friends within walking distance. My wife and I both work from home (12-14 hrs a day) so taking the kids out all the time is pretty much out of the question. Hence the reason for the Xbox.
I will however probably wind up taking everyone's advise and not let him play online anymore until he gets older.
I just thought it would be a cool feature on the Xbox if you could filter ages is all.
Thanks to all who have given your input. I appreciate it.

sorry for so many posts, one after another, but i had only read your first page posts...

its completely understandable to cut your child off from LIVE all together, but i think if you give him/her the choice, to either be given the responsibility to follow your guidelines, and you continue to monitor your childs gaming, and explain that if he/she doesn't follow set guidelines, that the privilege will be cut off until he/she is of a more mature level, or of coarse just cut of the LIVE and wait for when he/she is ready...

i don't believe in a set maturity level per age group, you know your child, and have the right to chose what he/she does according to how mature you think they are...

i gave my nephew my old 360 with the promise, if he were able to take care of it, and the games he was given, that when he got internet, i would give him a subscription to LIVE, he did as i asked, so i kept my promise... i set guidelines, and he did break them, or should i say bent them, but instead of cutting him off completely his mother and i issued an appropriate punishment... (i told him not to accept any incoming friend invites, and he followed that instruction, and i told him not to request a friend unless he knew them, and he invited several people to be his friend while playing halo... now anytime i sign on i check to make sure he only has the few friends we permitted him)

but like i said, you can either PM me, or even friend request my gamertag with your gamertag and you can message me on there if you do decide to let you child continue on with LIVE (just make sure you include a message stating your from the forums) or if you would just like to discuss it outside of a forum, and good luck with whatever you decide, just know you have my support (if that means anything, haha) because you are doing the right thing, im tired of people blaming video games for a child doing wrong in the world, when really its the parents and the laws that enable these behaviors (parents for not monitoring content, and laws for not coming down hard on stores that sell 17+ games to children)

EDIT: another monitoring tool on top of viewing your childs friends threw your account (assuming your childs account is on a different consoles) is change the setting for the headset audio to come through the TVs speakers aswell as the headset (sorry if that was obvious, some people don't know about the feature, or what it is good for)

TangoDown
10-31-2010, 08:45 AM
The biggest thing about kids and online gaming is being aware of what's going on. It's true that there are more dangers today and we can't protect from everything, but having an idea of what they are doing and doing our best to be aware of what measures we can take gives us a little ease of mind.

The best thing I can say is just be aware of what is going on and be absolutely sure that you feel that that they are ready to go online. Getting to know thier friends and learning about the games that play is a start and it can grow from there. Also, making sure there is there are guidelines in place and then enforcing them.

CaseD
10-31-2010, 10:33 AM
I may sound like a dick here but I think kids that age should be limited as to what they can do on live quite extensively. Playing with their friends, who would have to be checked by parents first off, is not so bad although I think it's advisable they only play with people known IRL myself. It's far too hard to know if someone only known through xbox live is the sort of person you want your child to socialize with, in most cases they won't be I'm sure.

Having said that I'm not against young kids gaming, and I'm not particularly bothered by which games they play, I just don't think live is the place for them until they are a bit older and able to cope with the plentious amounts of arseholes that they will inevitably meet... and life itself is the best way of learning that.

StillTIPPIN187
10-31-2010, 12:11 PM
There really should be something so you can see peoples age.. Although most ppl wouldn't go through with it correctly. Most kids that dont have a parental controlled account will have their age set for 17 or something.. and it would be a complete mess.

ChromiumDragon
10-31-2010, 03:27 PM
There really should be something so you can see peoples age.. Although most ppl wouldn't go through with it correctly. Most kids that dont have a parental controlled account will have their age set for 17 or something.. and it would be a complete mess.

First, most people advise against giving away your true age anywhere on the internet. The less real information available, the better. Especially kids. Putting a child's real age on the internet only makes them targets for everything ranging from cyber-bullies to punks looking to beat up on kids to improve their gamerscore to pedophiles. Simply put, nothing good can come of having your real age posted on X-Box or the internet for the world to see.

Second, the only people who would give their real ages are the ones you don't have to worry about. The 40 year old pedo isn't going to say he's 40. He's going to say he's 12. Cyber-bullies and punks are going to just make up an age (>18) at random. And the 12 year olds who want to be accepted by the older crowd are going to say they're 18.

And there's no effective way to verify someone's age. As an adult, even if I gave 100% real information including my age, who's to say that my son isn't jumping on my account and playing COD while I'm at work (with or without my permission)? Who's to say I'm not jumping on his to help him get the last achievement he needs for his first 1000?

It would never work. As many others have said in this thread, the best advice is to make sure you know exactly who is on your friends list, and never allow children to talk to anybody on X-Box unless you (the parent) knows exactly who it is. And keep the mics away from the kids. Nothing good can come of it.

DSM_DARKSIDE
10-31-2010, 05:44 PM
i heard there is a xbox live pack where there is a main account and you can control up to three other junior accounts even can share points might be worth looking into

Eviltoastman
11-06-2010, 06:14 AM
i agree, and feel i have been raised similarly, and feel the same way about the world as you do (if that makes sense).

but the big difference in our bringing up with video games is that we were there for the dawning, if you will, of the video game, and saw it grow from a beep and a boop, with 2 different colors on the screen, to the vibrant realistic games of today, so we never had the challenge to question if it were real or fantasy because we have seen it grow and mature into what is now, where as kids immersed in it today immediately see these images that imitate real life, and real life situations.

my point isn't to argue with you, rather to agree with what you have stated, and add upon it

I see where you're coming from. We were not exposed (in video games at least) graphic violence and so my point could be moot.

Where there is a distinction is that I was also exposed to the whole video nasty scene, plus violence was a way of life where I'm from. By the age of six I'd seen a man's ear torn off in a fight,saw my father defend himself against two men after a bust up the night before where one of them tried attacking him with a scafhold pole, men's teeth being knocked out, I saw friend's father's attack their wives...so again this may support or lessen your above point, but it certainly distorts it. Was my exposure to "real" violence what allowed me personally to differentiate properly between fake fantasy and reality? Was it the technology being used failed to convey violence in a realistic manner (modern games although graphic are far from realistic)? I don't think it's the technology at the heart of it personally.

My brother is ten year my junior. From the age of 14 I more or less raised him until I left home at 17 where I'd take care of him through the weekends and the holidays. We both agree that I was the dominant patriarch in his life and as such the key source (in addition to peers and school) of his socialization. He was raised on a diet of Mortal Combat 2, Soldier Of Fortune, Doom and Quake...these were violent and don't appear to have affected him psychologically. He is currently what I would consider my closest friend and in most important matter shares my opinions and perspective on things, for example, violence, crime, conduct.

I think it's a complex issue and being a psychology graduate I know that the majority of the theories and papers our there are bunk. Crippled scientific data corrupted by political or personal vendetta. Unfortunately, that side of health science is almost completely corrupt so getting trustworthy information on the subject of video games' affects on children (specifically graphic or violent content) is nigh on impossible.

Paka
11-06-2010, 02:11 PM
I don't know the answer and don't have children myself-- but, there do seem to be a lot of parents on the board. Maybe the admins here would be willing to let a forum for parents, where they could discuss appropriate games and set up "play dates" between their kids, and talk about other issues? Seems like that would be the safest way for parents to find others for their kids to play with, since parents/guardians of both kids would be involved and are obviously gamers too so they would be more likely to monitor it or know what is going on. With the average age of gamers getting older, bound to be more and more families with two generations of gamers; might end up being a pretty popular board.

Eviltoastman
11-18-2010, 09:06 PM
I don't know the answer and don't have children myself-- but, there do seem to be a lot of parents on the board. Maybe the admins here would be willing to let a forum for parents, where they could discuss appropriate games and set up "play dates" between their kids, and talk about other issues? Seems like that would be the safest way for parents to find others for their kids to play with, since parents/guardians of both kids would be involved and are obviously gamers too so they would be more likely to monitor it or know what is going on. With the average age of gamers getting older, bound to be more and more families with two generations of gamers; might end up being a pretty popular board.

Wouldn't that aid "grooming"?

W1cked Seraph
11-18-2010, 10:50 PM
I have a 9 yr old son that is looking for friends around his age. The problem I'm having is that there is no way to tell someone's age. I am constantly accepting friends for him (parental control) only to find out they are 16 or older and then deleting them. I've already heard other kids cursing him out, kicking him from games and threatning him. (Thought live was supposed to be fun for them)..........right...

Is there any way through parental controls to only accept friend requests from kids his age? Or an age limit that can be set by me? I've looked everywhere on the console but can't find anything. I have him set on friends only for EVERYTHING. Anyone have any suggestions?

Thanks.

A lot of kids get very annoyed when a young child enters a game and messes up. lets face it there are not that many kids between 6-13 that are super good at games such as call of duty. In all honesty there isnt gonna be to much you can do if he plays games online. there is always gonna be someone in the game that starts cursing out the "noob"

Terriah
11-19-2010, 01:22 AM
I have to agree with most of what's been said here.

I personally think you're contradicting yourself in your stand. You say you're unhappy with him playing online due to the language/content/other players, however, you're also letting him play games such as gears? You need to make your mind up.
You're either letting him be exposed to that degree of adult content or you're not.

At the end of the day, you're letting your child play games which are designed for adults but then you're coming across as unhappy with your child coming across other "adults" (and all that it entails) online.

I think the recommendations made by various other users here are the best.

I most notably took notice of the post about the wii, since I have to agree. I have parents coming into the store all the time looking for games which are suitable to children under the age of around 10. It is incredibly hard to recommend games to that age group, especially if they're uninterested in games such as Kung Fu Panda and Toy Story 3. There are a range of racing games, but as soon as you start incorporating guns/a level of violence, of course the rating goes up. As a console, the wii is the much better bet, by having its extensive list of games specifically designed for families and young children in mind.

However, if you insist on letting your child play on those rated games then the best advice given by other users here were by MC B0B x360a and evokazz, both posts offer suitable advice for allowing him to continue playing but by attempting to remove the unsuitable influences.

I also have to agree with that 'finding' other 9 year olds on the xbox live community is also probably the wrong way to go, perhaps also speak to the other parents at the school to set up friends, but you're going to struggle to control the situations on Live that you'll be putting them into.

Which brings me back to my original point, I think you need to decide on where you're coming from in regards to playing online, because from my point of view you're sending mixed signals. Either he's being exposed to adult themes or he's not, I don't really see much difference in playing games which have adult content or listening to people who share adult content.

If it's an issue with his Dad playing those games and him wanting to spend time with his dad, why not try to get Dad to play games more suitable for his age as well. That might get the Dad time and also introduce him to more suited games.