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View Full Version : Favorite one liners of DA2


Kinky Buns
03-12-2011, 06:25 PM
Post your favorite script from the game. :B

Owner of the Black Emporium when you talk to the "Urchin Boy".

"DO NOT MANHANDLE THE URCHIN! He is not for sale."

Isabela during the Fade.

"What can I say, I like big boats."

Aqua18
03-12-2011, 06:28 PM
Isabella: I don't like being dragged around unless a leash is involved.

scrummers
03-12-2011, 06:40 PM
Isabella to Fenris. More a of a two liner but i was cracking up. Isabella: So that fisting thing you do to people. Fenris: Ummmmm what?

Roshan
03-12-2011, 07:04 PM
Merill: Awww (or something) I think I just stepped in something

Smiles90
03-12-2011, 07:10 PM
Isabella to Fenris. More a of a two liner but i was cracking up. Isabella: So that fisting thing you do to people. Fenris: Ummmmm what?

That was awesome!!! I laughed so hard after that one.

Varric: "Opinions are like testicles, you kick them hard enough it doesn't matter how many you've got."

a blind beggar
03-12-2011, 09:19 PM
When talking about Gamlin, "He can't say "good morning" without lying twice"

The banter between Varric and Merril is always amazing too

Askeroth
03-12-2011, 09:32 PM
The "I despise furry art." in the codex entry for cailan's velvet portrait made me laugh. Not really a one-liner, since the entire codex entry was building up to that joke, but it was still amusing.

KillerChris8814
03-12-2011, 09:49 PM
I like in the hanged man when the talkitive man say "The Truth, is out there" and calling him the talkitive Man or something like that also references the Cancer man both of which reference the X-Files for people that didn't watch the show.

TriRock
03-12-2011, 10:18 PM
'Felicitate me!'

Actually, that whole scene is funny, so I won't spoil it by giving away more.

zebulen
03-12-2011, 10:26 PM
Aveline to Hawke. "How about I shove a canary up your coal mine."

pms
03-13-2011, 04:01 AM
Isabella has so many great ones. During Aveline's Act3 Companion quest you walk in on her talking to Aveline and she is in the middle of a conversation

"...so he says, 'I had two to begin with.' I never did get the stains out." implying she cut something he had two of off.

JDMBO1
03-13-2011, 04:15 AM
I remember a line about Meredith's sword is so far up her ass that should could cut you with her tongue someone please help me with that

KeepEmRolling
03-13-2011, 04:21 AM
Inspecting a banister in your estate, then making reference to a certain activity by Isabella.

DOOKH8R
03-17-2011, 03:00 AM
"My mother says all elves have the clap"

bakeryfreshgame
03-17-2011, 03:30 AM
One of the drunk patrons in The Hanged Man was talking about the hero of Ferelden and he said:
"What makes a hero a hero anyway? I bet I could slay an Archdemon."
I found that hilarious.
And Varric and Merrill talking about how the elves don't frolic in the forest cause the trees get jealous.

EDIT: I've heard some new ones that I like.
Isabella tends to say "Hurry, if we kill them we get to take all their stuff." when you are in, or about to be in, battle.
There is also an adorably funny conversation between Varric and Merrill, in which he tells her that she worries him by walking though the dark alleys of Lowtown, to which she responds that she is perfectly safe and no one has ever bothered her. Varric says that he knows and its costing him a fortune. I love Merrill and Varric together, he is like her big brother.

HaxAras
03-25-2011, 01:20 PM
it was'nt really a one liner, but varric in act 2 or 3 and merrill.

Here's your Twine back varric.
"When did i ever lend you twine?
back when i first came to the alienage.
"you finally figured your way around?
no i still get lost and something about the twine driving the merchants crazy.

ZingZitang
03-25-2011, 03:10 PM
Isabella has so many great ones. During Aveline's Act3 Companion quest you walk in on her talking to Aveline and she is in the middle of a conversation

"...so he says, 'I had two to begin with.' I never did get the stains out." implying she cut something he had two of off.

So yeah. . . I don't know about anyone else, But I really think your interpretation of this is completely wrong. . .

Knowing Isabella, it probably had something to do with Hookerism, and not cutting things off.

Corndoghero
03-25-2011, 03:12 PM
Aveline to Isabella: I've had enough of your loose lips! So have all the men as well

or something like that

troyrich
03-25-2011, 06:10 PM
I remember a line about Meredith's sword is so far up her ass that should could cut you with her tongue someone please help me with that

Your pretty much spot on i think it was Varric that said it thoguh im not 100% sure

Personally i love the Talkative man in the hanged man..

" Ever feel like your jsut a random character in a story someones telling?... I wish they made me more handsome "

wizzlestick
03-25-2011, 07:22 PM
Isabela was great, here's a few one liners and a small piece of banter between Isabela and Aveline that cracked me up.

Isabela: "Ah, the Blooming Rose. Where people come... then go."
___________________________

Isabela: "Hmm... apostate prostitutes? Apos-titutes!" (Laughs)
___________________________

Isabela: How's marriage been treating you, big girl?
Aveline: It's been good. No, great. I'd forgotten what it was like to-
Isabela: Be flipped ass-over-tits and hammered like a bent nail?
Aveline: To. Be. Loved.
Isabela: Oh. Right. Of course.
Aveline: Not that I'm complaining about the other thing.

ViRaLuNdEaD
03-25-2011, 07:24 PM
I laughed when Isabela was asking Aveline about how she liked being married and Aveline was trying to say something but Isabela interrupts her and finishes her sentence with "...being flipped ass over tits and hammered like a bent nail?"

H3s H3ating up
03-25-2011, 08:45 PM
"Without an End there can be no Peace." - Flemeth

blacqout
03-25-2011, 10:09 PM
There was lots of great dialogue. I laughed out loud during the Inside Job quest, when Hubert says "I leave this bastard in your capable hands".

Also, Cullen, when you present him with the Tranquil Solution documents.

"I wont ask how you came to possess the personal affects of a man recently murdered within these walls".

Merrill: What was he thinking?
Anders: Probably "AAARRRRGGHHHHHH! A BLOOD MAGE".

romanzad
03-25-2011, 11:09 PM
I like in the hanged man when the talkitive man say "The Truth, is out there" and calling him the talkitive Man or something like that also references the Cancer man both of which reference the X-Files for people that didn't watch the show.

I noticed this too, awesome!

bakeryfreshgame
03-26-2011, 02:48 AM
Isabela: "Hmm... apostate prostitutes? Apos-titutes!" (Laughs)


hahaha, that is one of my favorite Isabella quotes

tkhbecker
03-26-2011, 05:53 AM
"DO NOT MANHANDLE THE URCHIN! He is not for sale."I love the Urchin in the BE, also it ends with "Get your own"

That and the banter between Avilene and Isabella and Sex... LOL

JDMBO1
03-26-2011, 05:57 AM
Any conversation amongst the party with Isabella is always sexual innuendos, so basically Isabella's dialog is pure gold

tabion360
03-26-2011, 09:54 AM
i lol'd @ one of Varrics ones on Aveline's companion quest "The Long Road" in act II.

Varric - "Let me paint a picture of where she wants to touch you"

FSparacino4
03-26-2011, 11:12 AM
One of the prostitutes in the Blooming Rose:

"So you've come to explore the Deep Roads?" or something to that effect.

SpinelesS
03-26-2011, 11:46 AM
I'm starting to wonder about some of the verbal choices in this game...

In act 2 I Gave Isabella a small ship, and she says the ship is cute.

Since I'm romancing her I have a romantic option that simply says "you should see below decks" on the decision wheel.

I choose it and hawk goes on about how the ship is to scale and below decks the sailors are pulling a train on Isabella (not using those exact words, but it was pretty close)

I laughed when I heard it, but I can't for the life of me see how it was in any way a romantic response, even for someone like Isabella.

KillerChris8814
03-26-2011, 08:45 PM
I'm starting to wonder about some of the verbal choices in this game...

In act 2 I Gave Isabella a small ship, and she says the ship is cute.

Since I'm romancing her I have a romantic option that simply says "you should see below decks" on the decision wheel.

I choose it and hawk goes on about how the ship is to scale and below decks the sailors are pulling a train on Isabella (not using those exact words, but it was pretty close)

I laughed when I heard it, but I can't for the life of me see how it was in any way a romantic response, even for someone like Isabella.

I'd have to say it works as romantic for her because, well she's a whore. I mean she gets banged more than the whores at the brothel, and she always talks about sex, so acting more like her could be considered romantic. Well I guess so anyway.

wizzlestick
03-27-2011, 12:04 AM
Any conversation amongst the party with Isabella is always sexual innuendos, so basically Isabella's dialog is pure gold

Haha agreed; She made all the banter more enjoyable and even gave out pet names for the other companions.

Apocryphea
03-27-2011, 04:27 AM
"Hawke muttered in an angry aside to the dwarf"

DOOKH8R
03-27-2011, 06:28 AM
As I was heading through Lowtown to the Alienage, I heard an unnamed NPC say, "Its always elf this and elf that. grr I'll elf your mother."

Agent Mantis
03-27-2011, 06:39 AM
when isabella is in the fade

"I like big boats and I cannot lie"

KillerChris8814
03-27-2011, 08:06 AM
As I was heading through Lowtown to the Alienage, I heard an unnamed NPC say, "Its always elf this and elf that. grr I'll elf your mother."

Ahh... so that's what the smurfs were talking about when they were smurfing stuff.:D

bakeryfreshgame
03-27-2011, 08:28 AM
I just heard a good convo between Isabela and Sebastian about why Isabela is bothering to fight with Hawke when she seems not to care about any of it anyway, to which she responds about how she is paid up at the Blooming Rose through the end of the year and she would hate to waste it... and here is where it gets priceless:
Sebastian: You mean... the brothel?
Isabela: What? Women can't go to brothels too? Your just not using your imagination. (pause) Now you are! Your cute when you blush.

Knehcs
03-27-2011, 08:53 AM
Varric to Hawke at the start of the Haunted quest:

"You're a mage. You must know something about...weird shit."

SpinelesS
03-28-2011, 12:02 AM
While walking past a random NPC on the docks during the day:

"I heard you did something somewhere. I bet it mattered to someone"

In the Hanged Man:

"Why is this place called the Hanged Man?"

"Because every time someone asks a stupid question we hang him from the rafters"

mad4ra
03-28-2011, 11:13 AM
The most Badass is from the arishok before you Duel him in my opinion^^

Arishok: Kill me and the duty that binds me is ended. The others will return to Par Vollen.
Hawke: And if you kill me?
Arishok: Then you are dead.

And if you bring Isabella with you on the Quest On the Loose theres this mage in the Hanged Man (yeah, the virgin) you can ask Isabella to help out but she refuses and says something like "Im whoring myself enough already without your help, thanks" i found that funny :x

Opiate42
03-28-2011, 12:54 PM
Isabella likes to be ridden like rails.

My two new favourites are around Aveline.

When talking about Carver, Aveline says:
"Your brother's a right tit"

When trying to romance Aveline (doesn't happen but funny to try) during the whole Donnic debacle, when you start tossing out more romantic lines:

Aveline: "you know if I could say things like that I wouldn't have needed your help"
Hawke: "I'm ...charming myself into obsolescence"

BillyTallent
03-29-2011, 05:19 AM
During Prime Suspect, Varric says, "20 silver he says 'It wasn't me, it was the one armed man.'"

spamfilter
03-30-2011, 05:31 AM
I think it was something along the line of

Isabela: "The difference between courtesans and whores is that courtesans have better shoes.

Aveline: "I think your shoes are just fine."

DOOKH8R
03-30-2011, 07:03 AM
I think it was something along the line of

Isabela: "The difference between courtesans and whores is that courtesans have better shoes.

Aveline: "I think your shoes are just fine."

That is my new favorite. Pretty funny.

MLG=Most Likely Gay
03-30-2011, 03:00 PM
After gay romance with Fenris
Fenris: It was fine, more than fine, great but-
Hawke: I know its a lot to take in...

bakeryfreshgame
03-30-2011, 09:04 PM
After gay romance with Fenris
Fenris: It was fine, more than fine, great but-
Hawke: I know its a lot to take in...

That is brilliant, I may have to play a male Hawke just to romance Fenris now.

SpinelesS
04-05-2011, 11:28 AM
Going to the location with the gas that slowly kills you and makes everyone mad:

Hawke: How bout your man goes in and shuts off the gas?
Aveline: how bout I shove a canary up your coal mine?

BillyTallent
04-08-2011, 11:50 PM
I just caught this little exchange during On The Loose:

Isabela is goading Aveline about Aveline and Donnic's private life

Aveline: Isabela, why do you give me these doubts?
Isabela: If you shove your thumb up his a$$, I win,
Varric: Ahhh, that little chestnut.

I love this little exchanges between party members

FieLdHouZ
04-09-2011, 11:51 AM
Varric in the Deep Roads when Bartrands locks you up:

"I swear I'll do something to that son of a bich!" "I'm sorry mother"

Hilarious :woop:

jonesat
04-09-2011, 07:58 PM
my fav is when isabella quotes the underpants gnomes lol
YouTube - Isabela's Flawless Profit Plan - Dragon Age 2

XYMistman
04-10-2011, 06:29 AM
(Sarcastic Hawke, after Isabela betrays you in the fade)

"I like big boats, I cannot lie" really Isabela? :D

ArsenicPuppy
05-01-2011, 08:57 AM
Isabela and Anders talking about her view on mages,
Isabela: Iím more likely to be shanked in a bar than eaten by an abomination. You can hear those coming a mile away. "Grr. Argh!" "Oh, is that an abomination coming to eat us? We should get out of here!"
Anders: Abominations don't go, "Grr. Argh."
Isabela: They don't? I should rethink the whole thing, then.

Osirusblue
05-02-2011, 10:13 PM
Everytime Aveline gets annoyed with something Isabella says and tells her "Shut up, whore"

Its funny cuz it happens a lot if you keep them both in the party!

ReverendSID
05-05-2011, 07:39 AM
My Two favorites are both Flemith.

"Hurtled into the chaos, you fight.... and the world will shake before you."

And after Avaline called her the Witch of the Wilds
"Some call me that. Also Flemith. Asha'bellanar. An 'old hag who talks too much!' *chuckle*"

FidgetMidget
05-06-2011, 09:59 PM
That was awesome!!! I laughed so hard after that one.

Varric: "Opinions are like testicles, you kick them hard enough it doesn't matter how many you've got."

This one is by far my favorite one out of the whole game!

FidgetMidget
05-06-2011, 10:06 PM
Everytime Aveline gets annoyed with something Isabella says and tells her "Shut up, whore"

Its funny cuz it happens a lot if you keep them both in the party!

Yes...and the line about the father.

francisrossi
05-10-2011, 11:07 PM
No Sandal? Tut. He's probably still after some salamanders, poor thing. Or swinging from the chandelier.

OrchestructionX
05-11-2011, 03:36 AM
Isabela: "Hmm... apostate prostitutes? Apos-titutes!" (Laughs)

Easily the best line in the game.

Darth Cuda
05-11-2011, 08:21 AM
Mine was when you walk up to a window in your mansion. I don't remember the couple's name
but it is something to the effect of: "I can see (the couple) made up."


Still can't top DA 1 oghran: "noone grabs oghrans junk and lives"

Or Shepards:

"I'll relenquish one bullet. Where do you want it?"

Off topic but they are bioware titles :)

ladyvader
05-12-2011, 03:34 AM
One of my favorite lines is from Isabela's Act 3 quest when you let Velasco take Isabela to Castillion. Castillion mentioned that Velasco paid for his mistake by not keeping Isabela tied up. He says...."What a pretty smear he makes." I laugh every time I hear that.

Anything with Isabela is funny. Best banter is between Isabela/Varric/Aveline