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Weapon 117
05-22-2008, 09:09 PM
It's not just bad, it completely misses the point

Words: Brett Elston, GamesRadar US

Ah, the box art story. Ol' R'liable we like to call it, always good for a laugh and sure to inspire conversation about what makes cover art good, bad or legendarily awful. This time though, we're going a different route and focusing on covers that totally botch the simplest rule of box art - it should reflect the product cleanly and clearly. These poor examples couldn't even keep it together long enough to be regular old "bad box art."

Offender - Marvel: Ultimate Alliance
Crime - Spider-Man swinging with a goddam rope

http://static.gamesradar.com/images/mb/GamesRadar/us/Features/2008/05/Box%20Art%20got%20it%20all%20wrong/Finished/052208_boxart_obs1--article_image.jpg

Spider-Man, perhaps the only fictional character in history known for swinging from rooftop to rooftop via his own stringy webs, is here depicted using a rope. A rope. What the blistering hell is this? That's like putting Wolverine on the cover brandishing knives instead of, you know, the foot-long claws already growing in his arms.

We could go on about how Spider-Man generally doesn't hold his hand like that while shooting webs (it should be palm up, unless in the black costume), but this rope nonsense is enough. But if you want proof...

http://static.gamesradar.com/images/mb/GamesRadar/us/Features/2008/05/Box%20Art%20got%20it%20all%20wrong/Finished/Webshooters--article_image.jpg

Yes Spidey, it was a dumb thing to do, putting your hand like that on the cover. Glad we're on the same page... of Spectacular Spider-Man 93.

Offender - Mario Kart Wii
Crime - Um, karts please?

http://static.gamesradar.com/images/mb/GamesRadar/us/Features/2008/05/Box%20Art%20got%20it%20all%20wrong/mariokartbox--article_image.jpg

The name is Mario Kart Wii. Mario's on there. You know Wii is on there because of all the blinding white, but where are the karts? In other words, where is the thing you'll actually be doing? You're not running and jumping with Mario, so "kart" is the key word here. Wait, wait a second... oh there they are, buried under a mountain of logos and copyright bullshit.

http://static.gamesradar.com/images/mb/GamesRadar/us/Features/2008/05/Box%20Art%20got%20it%20all%20wrong/Finished/kartwiikarts--article_image.jpg

Even with all that white coating the cover, and an extra large package designed to accommodate the Wii Wheel (which does receive proper attention), they still couldn't sneak a kart in anywhere? No, instead let's get the wheel in there four times plus wrist straps on Mario and Luigi.

Their quest for details ended up omitting the one thing that should have stayed.

Offender - Dragoneer's Aria
Crime - Favoring smoky dragon over sexy upskirt shot

http://static.gamesradar.com/images/mb/GamesRadar/us/Features/2008/05/Box%20Art%20got%20it%20all%20wrong/dragoneers--article_image.jpg

No disrespect to the talented Juno Jeong (who provided the game's fantastic artwork), but this is boring as hell when it comes to covers. However, blandness simply makes this bad box art, not necessarily something that misses the point. But compare this sleepy cover to the instruction booklet and it's clear which should have received top billing:

http://static.gamesradar.com/images/mb/GamesRadar/us/Features/2008/05/Box%20Art%20got%20it%20all%20wrong/dragoneers2--article_image.jpg

One has a tired dragon lying in total darkness... the other has gorgeous characters and an elven upskirt shot. It's an RPG, and what's one of the most important aspects of any RPG? The cast, not monsters, and that's why Aria makes the list - for nixing sexy character art in favor of a steamy-mouthed lizard.

Hey dragon, I have a prediction for your crystal ball: FAIL (http://www.metacritic.com/games/platforms/psp/dragoneersaria?q=Dragoneer's%20Aria).

Offender - Transformers: Autobots and Decepticons
Crime - Mixing up established colors of the title characters

http://static.gamesradar.com/images/mb/GamesRadar/us/Features/2008/05/Box%20Art%20got%20it%20all%20wrong/Finished/052208_boxart_obs2--article_image.jpg

Get a load of this - they named each version after the Autobots and Decepticons and then made their logos the opposite color. Autobot logo is always red. Decepticon logo is always purple. It's been that way for two decades. How can you go to the trouble of securing the license and then screwing it up the color they represent? That's like buying the NBA license and then ignoring the proper jersey colors.

http://static.gamesradar.com/images/mb/GamesRadar/us/Features/2008/05/Box%20Art%20got%20it%20all%20wrong/Finished/052208_boxart_obs3--article_image.jpg

Eff it! We're doing whatever we want with the license; we can't be bothered to know/remember/care that it predates this product by 20 years, there's money to be made!

They even went so far as to make the backgrounds match. One could argue they were going for a contrasting image, swapping the colors intentionally to make the art more striking, but the only people who'll notice the palette swap are the same who get pissed when you mess with tradition. Also, pull away from Megatron. When you get that close he looks like freaking Sauron.

Offender - Bubble Bobble Revolution
Crime - Managing to make Bub & Bob fugly as hell
http://static.gamesradar.com/images/mb/GamesRadar/us/Features/2008/05/Box%20Art%20got%20it%20all%20wrong/bubble_box--article_image.jpg

Christ, look at those things. Two grossly rotund beasts that paradoxically couldn't reach their mouths with those stubby appendages. And what's with the Pac-Man eyes? Good lord what have they done to two characters known for being adorable?

http://static.gamesradar.com/images/mb/GamesRadar/us/Features/2008/05/Box%20Art%20got%20it%20all%20wrong/bubblebobble--article_image.jpg

Awww....

http://static.gamesradar.com/images/mb/GamesRadar/us/Features/2008/05/Box%20Art%20got%20it%20all%20wrong/Bub--article_image.jpg

D'AWWWWWWWWWWWWW

What a travesty. All this game has to go on is nostalgia and the irresistibly cute duo of Bub and Bob. Guess it was a sign of things to come, as the reviews (http://www.gamesradar.com/ds/bubble-bobble-revolution/review/bubble-bobble-revolution/a-20061012104946586006/g-2006101210244163032) were cripplingly low. Next time don't get five-year-olds to draw your box art.

Offender - Karnov
Crime - Duping kids into thinking Karnov's a badass

http://static.gamesradar.com/images/mb/GamesRadar/us/Features/2008/05/Box%20Art%20got%20it%20all%20wrong/neskarnov--article_image.jpg

Hey kids, wanna play as a fire-breathing circus strongman that wrestles goddam dinosaurs? Of course you do! Buy our game and we promise a sweltering sauna of Cretaceous beatdowns that'll have your friends lining up around the block. Don't have enough friends to fill a block? They'll come to you after they see Karnov bitch-kick T-Rex right in its stupid teeth.
http://static.gamesradar.com/images/mb/GamesRadar/us/Features/2008/05/Box%20Art%20got%20it%20all%20wrong/Karnov--article_image.jpg

Oh. He's actually an overweight, fire-breathing Russian that can't jump very well. There's also like one dinosaur in the whole game and the ending is a simple "Congratulations!" (http://www.gamesradar.com/ds/nintendo-ds/news/the-worst-nes-endings-ever/a-2007070395355167017/g-20060308162345714070/p-4)

This shit should be illegal. They outright lied to us, and they'd have to in order to get a child to choose this over Super Mario Bros. 2. To be fair, now-defunct Data East depicted Karnov as a 'roided-out goon on the arcade flyer, but when translated to sprites he simply looks fat. Either way this box art fails to deliver, whether Karnov is obese or packing two tickets to the Kremlin's Red Army gun show.

Hmm that sounds better already...

http://static.gamesradar.com/images/mb/GamesRadar/us/Features/2008/05/Box%20Art%20got%20it%20all%20wrong/Finished/052208_boxart_obs4--article_image.jpg



Source: http://www.gamesradar.com/f/box-art-that-got-it-all-wrong/a-200805221031199094

Weapon 117
05-22-2008, 09:10 PM
Offender - Ironsword: Wizards & Warriors II
Crime - Looking like a trashy "Lusty Lass" romance novel

http://static.gamesradar.com/images/mb/GamesRadar/us/Features/2008/05/Box%20Art%20got%20it%20all%20wrong/neswizardsandwarriors2ironsword--article_image.jpg

Not sure if you young'uns know about Fabio. He's an awfully handsome model and spokesman for anyone with $20 and a tub of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. He also adorned the cover of NES classic Ironsword, armed with the same sword Ahnuld used in the Conan movies. Conan the shirtless barbarian. Fabio's supposed to represent Kuros, the star of all three W&W games, who is in fact a fully armored knight that uses a lance.

http://static.gamesradar.com/images/mb/GamesRadar/us/Features/2008/05/Box%20Art%20got%20it%20all%20wrong/Kuros--article_image.jpg

Once again someone in marketing called the shots and ignored what was actually going on inside the game. Kuros is a knight, Fabio's a gold-stomached battlemaster with naught but his skin and a felled beast hide to assuage the harsh elements from his untainted soul. Too bad they couldn't keep birds from smacking into his face at 75 miles per hour.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twqMYABS_Pg (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twqMYABS_Pg)

Offender - Godzilla
Crime - Messing up Godzilla in every way

http://static.gamesradar.com/images/mb/GamesRadar/us/Features/2008/05/Box%20Art%20got%20it%20all%20wrong/zillabox--article_image.jpg

1. Godzilla shoots blue radioactive breath, not yellow rays
2. Godzilla does not have big pointy ears
3 Godzilla is King of the Monsters, not Monster of Monsters
4. Godzilla never fought puny UFOs while outer space was on fire
We'd go on but we already beat up poor G in an earlier (http://www.gamesradar.com/wii/f/the-top-7-games-that-dont-deserve-nostalgia/a-200805129370318082/p-6) article.

Offender - Mega Man
Crime - Inspiring every 'worst box art' story ever

http://static.gamesradar.com/images/mb/GamesRadar/us/Features/2008/05/Box%20Art%20got%20it%20all%20wrong/MegaManFront--article_image.jpg

Yes, we get it internet, this is terrible box art. Now stop pointing it out... oh fine we'll do it one last time but then promise we can move on to Mega Man 4.

Anyone can see how far off the mark it is. But the reason it's so bad fits nicely into our topic - that bow-legged bastard is not Mega Man. He's carrying a gun, his helmet is crooked and he's draped in futuristic football gear. Meanwhile, the real deal goes like this:

http://static.gamesradar.com/images/mb/GamesRadar/us/Features/2008/05/Box%20Art%20got%20it%20all%20wrong/MegaMan--article_image.jpg

Beautiful. Simply breathtaking, that. And it bears no resemblance whatsoever to the abomination above. All the NES Mega Man covers were bad, but this one beats 'em all. Now let's never mention it again.

Need more box art mockery in your life? Hit up our Worst of 2007 (http://www.gamesradar.com/f/the-worst-box-art-of-2007/a-20071211165037654003) list.
May 22, 2008

Source: http://www.gamesradar.com/f/box-art-that-got-it-all-wrong/a-200805221031199094/p-3 (http://www.gamesradar.com/f/box-art-that-got-it-all-wrong/a-200805221031199094/p-3)

xxEquilibriumxx
05-22-2008, 09:20 PM
Megaman was probably the worst. But don't base a book of its cover goes well for that game. Probably why I never wanted that game until megaman 2 came out.

Royle
05-22-2008, 09:21 PM
Hahahaha your posts from Game Radar always make me chuckle :D

narcolepticshee
05-22-2008, 09:24 PM
haha - I thoroughly enjoyed reading that! Great calls on all of them and they defnitely saved the best till last!

Peace

MightyWingo
05-22-2008, 09:27 PM
The megaman one truly is legendarily (is that a word?) awful. Has got to be the worst box art ever!

V0NST3V3
05-22-2008, 09:35 PM
Mega man one is classic, looks like it has been drawn by a child (probably was tbh). I think the mario cart wii one is actually really good, just my opinion though.

botafogo007
05-22-2008, 09:48 PM
Wow, I never noticed the Ultimate Alliance cover...

Some of those old NES covers really WERE awful though. I remember the one with Fabio, and even then thinking 'wtf?' I remember Karnak too, but I never played that game and so didn't really care.

Bax x360a
05-22-2008, 09:52 PM
Haha, humerous article. They've got a point about Mario Kart aswell, where are the karts?!?

Parkerktm
05-22-2008, 10:57 PM
All these things you find at game radar are hilarious. I never noticed that about Spider Man on the Ultimate Alliance Cover, but thats a pretty big misprint.

ThrawnOmega
05-22-2008, 11:03 PM
I never noticed the Marvel issue either. Those covers are really bad.

Deyankees1
05-22-2008, 11:14 PM
The Mario Kart one I think they didn't want to put the karts its symbolizing that you the player are controlling it with the wheel. Like Mario and Luigi are doing and there for not actually in a kart. Mario and Luigi are the players playing the actually game. Not in the game driving if you get what Im saying. Its actually a clever box art if you understand it correctly.

Lord Xanatos17
05-22-2008, 11:17 PM
Also, Godzilla is smiling on that cover. When in bloody hell does he smile ? He's a freakin' monster.

Deadly Moves
05-22-2008, 11:56 PM
Offender - Marvel: Ultimate Alliance
Crime - Spider-Man swinging with a goddam rope

http://static.gamesradar.com/images/mb/GamesRadar/us/Features/2008/05/Box%20Art%20got%20it%20all%20wrong/Finished/052208_boxart_obs1--article_image.jpg

Offender - Mario Kart Wii
Crime - Um, karts please?

http://static.gamesradar.com/images/mb/GamesRadar/us/Features/2008/05/Box%20Art%20got%20it%20all%20wrong/mariokartbox--article_image.jpg

Offender - Transformers: Autobots and Decepticons
Crime - Mixing up established colors of the title characters

http://static.gamesradar.com/images/mb/GamesRadar/us/Features/2008/05/Box%20Art%20got%20it%20all%20wrong/Finished/052208_boxart_obs2--article_image.jpg


I dont mean to be picky, but...
You have a few of these wrong...

1st - Marvel Ultimate Alliance..
Thats webbing not rope... in alot of the comics his webbing looks like that..
Trust me i have ALOT of spidey comics
Plus if you have even seen real web under a micro scope it looks like rope

2nd - Mario Kart Wii
Why do they need to be in karts for the cover? they dont..
They have the wiimote wheels we actualy use and we dont have karts to sit in while playing..

3rd - TransFormers
What you on about with the colors?!
Just bcos the Autobots has a blue sky background doesnt mean its wrong..
Its representing a nice sky, therefore a "good" sky for the good guys
and the Decepticons has a darker, war-like sky to represent "bad" for the bad guys

Its not showing the logos in the correct or incorrects colours.. Bcos there not even there..

I may have one for you though...
Forza 2:
If i remember correctly..
This car isnt even in the game, not even as DLC

http://www.forzacentral.com/gallery/displayimage.php?imageid=9834

loveandbubbles
05-23-2008, 01:43 AM
I dont mean to be picky, but...
You have a few of these wrong...

1st - Marvel Ultimate Alliance..
Thats webbing not rope... in alot of the comics his webbing looks like that..
Trust me i have ALOT of spidey comics
Plus if you have even seen real web under a micro scope it looks like rope

2nd - Mario Kart Wii
Why do they need to be in karts for the cover? they dont..
They have the wiimote wheels we actualy use and we dont have karts to sit in while playing..

3rd - TransFormers
What you on about with the colors?!
Just bcos the Autobots has a blue sky background doesnt mean its wrong..
Its representing a nice sky, therefore a "good" sky for the good guys
and the Decepticons has a darker, war-like sky to represent "bad" for the bad guys

Its not showing the logos in the correct or incorrects colours.. Bcos there not even there..




read my mind..

gatorbait
05-23-2008, 05:30 AM
God, why did they have to remind us all of that awful Megaman cover. Haven't we been tortured enough?

I understand what Nintendo was trying to do with the Mariokart Wii cover but I wish they went with a more artistic approach representing the in game racing like on previous Mariokart covers. It looks like they are selling a piece of PC software with that cover.

Royle
05-23-2008, 08:49 AM
Haha, humerous article. They've got a point about Mario Kart aswell, where are the karts?!?
I think the point Nintendo are trying to get across is that it's meant to make you feel like your in the kart but your sitting on your living room sofa type thing. It's hard to explain but I know where Nintendo are coming from.

shadaik
05-23-2008, 04:52 PM
2. Godzilla does not have big pointy ears
I'm sorry (and the Japanese should be, too), but actually Godzilla DID sport those ears before being redesigned in 1962.

More worrying is the fact that I know such things.