Wait... Did you seriously say that the PS3 online is crap? Have you ever played it?
Xbox Live only tells you where the rooms are. So if you start hosting a game, the Xbox will send a signal to their server, Basically saying "I'm hosting." If people look for the games, they will send a signal to Xbox Live Servers It will search the list of people hosting to and give you results the match you citrea. Then you can select one, and the Xbox Live Servers gives your Xbox the IP to connect to. Then you connect to the IP that you requested, and the connection for playing is between you and the host, not with Xbox live servers. Stats, like kills get sent to the Xbox Live Servers. You're position, voice and speed, direction, Ect. Ect. goes between host and you.