View Single Post
Old 06-22-2008, 08:59 AM   #5
daninthemix
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: London
Posts: 1,280

Awards Showcase 1,000 Posts
Total Awards: 1 (more» ...)
I blogged my thoughts on this game:

I would be prepared to pay 100 towards a hitman contract.

Whilst the developers were busy masturbating themselves into a coma over the '8000 physics objects in every level' they failed to notice that each of those 'physics objects' is actually a Result Randomiser. It is quite frankly impossible to avoid all of them, so you just have to play with fingers crossed as some you can drive straight through as if they're not even there, whilst some will send you cartwheeling through the air in such an unrealistic - not to mention irritatingly game-breaking - manner that even using the word 'physics' in the same sentence as this game seems ridiculous.

Please note - 100 is what the death of the developers is worth to me. It would be doing the world a great favour, and looking at their website (www.bugbear.fi) they are still developing and even have the audacity to advertise a need for "exceptional people for exciting projects". What could those be? A stab yourself in the eye simulator? A divorce-em-up?

I have got 1000, so am now qualified to write my review, which I will present without exaggeration, in bullet-point form.

- I have played over 1000 videogames in my life.
- Flatout: Ultimate Carnage is the worst videogame I've ever played.
- Success requires more luck than roulette or poker.
- The best player in the world will lose when Flatout hits them with its worst luck.
- The worst player in the world will win when Flatout graces them with its best.
- Winning, therefore, is a simple numbers game. Perseverance x time = success.
- I will never play another driving game again.
- Do not, under any circumstances, play this game.
__________________

daninthemix is offline   Reply With Quote