|03-12-2010, 09:39 AM||#1|
My Top Ten Most Infuriating Memories of COD3 Vet.. What are yours?
Okay, so I'm on the very last level of COD3 on Veteran, and am kicking its ass pretty hard right now, having suffered through the rest of this game and resultantly boosted my FPS skills tenfold.
I'm going to take a break from the catatonic rage-inducing gayness that is the AI in COD3 and recount my top ten most angering moments of this game, in no particular order.
1. Rushing the hill on the Island.
If you didn't already know how to effectively use smoke grenades from playing COD2, this part will hammer it into you... that is, if your sanity can survive the sadistic lesson in smoke usage. I rarely used smoke in COD2, but it was here that I found out after hours of dying that it is FUCKING MANDATORY.
2. Clearing out the square in Falaise Road
Prime example of the "few and far between" checkpoint policy this game sadistically employs. You're basically expected to clear out four corners of a sizable industrial yard with no intermediate checkpoints. This part took about three hours of trial-and-error and a bottle or two of Jack to weather through.
3. The bomb-valve-crane sequence in Falaise Road
This wasn't so much infuriating because of its difficulty, although I did die a lot. What really frosted my ass was the shattering of my suspension of disbelief as I realized that my character has to literally do fucking EVERYTHING, and no one else lifts a damn finger to help. Hell, they'll sit their asses behind a wall, 10 of them or so, while I'm sniping a force of six Germans alone. I hope whoever designed the ally AI in this game gets bent with a chainsaw.
4. The furnace room in the Fuel Plant
Jesus H Christ on a crutch, this part was ridiculous. Not only can you not see shit, there are Nazis above you on catwalks that are practically invisible. I basically had to abuse auto-aim to find and kill the Kraut bastards. It didn't help that I spent about four hours trying to tackle it from the left, when it was hundreds of times easier to take it from the right. This of course was only after COD3 decided to stop being the glitchy Helen Keller of video games and let me jump over that mongoloid mine-cart that was previously insurmountable due to the laziness/incompetence of Treyarch's programmers. Fuckers.
5. The mortar battle in the Forest
You knew it was coming, admit it. But no, seriously, I found the crossing of the road to be pretty easy in the Forest if you do it properly. (By the way, I've a guide posted on this forum for anyone struggling) What really boiled my blood was the mortar battle. The least they could have fucking done was give me a checkpoint so I don't have to start all over while I get used to the Bizarro control scheme for the damn thing. I understand trying to preserve realism and all, and it was a cool idea to mimic a mortar's control scheme. But Jesus, at least give me a checkpoint before you mindfuck me with that.
6. The "Invincible Man", Guardian Angel of the Flak Guns
This was probably the single part of the game that pissed me off the most. Okay, so if you haven't tried to Vet this game yet, let me warn you about this son of a bitch. Anyone who has beaten this level or tried knows EXACTLY who the hell I'm talking about. So there's a guy in a trench guarding the second flak gun in the Laison River level. I shit you not, he is impervious to bullets. I duked it out with the jackass for about an hour before I realized I had to rush him. So, knowing full well that only Corporal Keith had character immunity, I used a more vulnerable ally as a meat-shield and ran up and melee'ed him without any problem. So my question is... what the fuck?! Why can this guy take eighty bullets to the face without flinching, and yet drops from one good smack in the face. If I wanted that shit, I'd play fucking Halo. God damn.
7. The surprise ambush in Hostage
So, after clearing a house and barn and rescuing the third and final hostage in that level, I was feeling like a real OG and was pretty much expecting the level to end. As if the Forest hadn't completely shattered any naivete I may have still harbored. Yeah no, I got sniped in the head from at least a hundred meters away by an MP-fucking-40. Yeah... Quickdraw McGraw doesn't have shit on COD3 Nazis. Maybe if they made your melee attack a swinging guitar and the accompanying "kabong" sound, it would make it more bearable. Apologies to the younger members of the audience who did not grow up with Quickdraw McGraw, and thus did not understand that reference.
8. Using the crowbar in Corridor of Death
Not much to be said except... really? was that really fucking necessary as I'm getting shot in the damn head while I'm trying to crowbar a door instead of doing the sensible thing and blowing the shit out of it with a grenade. Who the fuck uses a crowbar for that when they have grenades? Last I checked, I'm not Gordon fucking Freeman. Jesus.
9. The final part of the Mace
I've never been more excited by green fireworks in my life than when the end of this level came.
10. COD3 Veteran Play-testing
Pics or it obviously didn't happen...
Completed Retail: Blazing Angels 1 & 2, Bully: Scholarship Edition, Call of Duty 2-4 and 6, Clive Barker's Jericho, Dante's Inferno (minus St. Lucia), GUN
Completed Arcade: Call of Duty Classic, Aegis Wing, Dash of Destruction, Battlefield 1943, Doritos Crash Course, Harm's Way
Working On: Battlefield 2, Bioshock
12/16/10: 10000 GS - Lab Rat, Dead Space
8/28/11: 20000 GS - Irony, BioShock