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Old 09-07-2013, 05:24 AM   #1
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Male and female friendship?

I really want to know, do you all think a male and female can be "just" friends? I read an article stating males secretly hold out on sex thinking the woman is going to change her mind or wait for the perfect opportunity. I somewhat agree to this, but do women have the same concept? Ulterior motive plays an important role in this equation as well. What do you guys/girls think?
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Old 09-07-2013, 06:54 AM   #2
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Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns: I guess not.
Sally Albright: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.
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Old 09-07-2013, 07:18 AM   #3
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Old 09-07-2013, 07:48 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Callum x360a View Post
Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns: I guess not.
Sally Albright: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.
Ugh... I hate that movie. Haha.
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Old 09-07-2013, 02:44 PM   #5
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I personally am married and have several male friends. One even spends the night when he comes to game with me; and yes, my husband is aware of this. My husband and he are also great friends who disc golf together whenever possible. There is nothing sexual between us, but I love him and my other male friends dearly. I can't speak for them, but I find no sexual tension there AT ALL!! Just as I couldn't imagine having sex with my brother, I also can't imagine having sex with them either. But I do love them like they are my family.
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Old 09-07-2013, 02:54 PM   #6
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I was halfway a long boring story, but I'll keep it short:

As a male I have several female friends, some of them even sleep next to me on a regular basis. All of that without any sexual tension. And I'm not gay either.

So, yes, Male and Female can just be friends. Though the sexytime thing is involved sometimes, it's not always. Also is the sexything able to ruin a good friendship.
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Old 09-08-2013, 03:15 AM   #7
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Any experience I've had, when you get close with someone with intentions of being "just friends", it never ends up working that day. In high school me and my best friend at the time caught feelings randomly. Horrible situation, she was dating my best friend. (Of course I took the high horse and didn't do anything relax )

I don't know if thats just me though. I mean I think you're more prone to it if you hang around said person a lot.
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Old 09-08-2013, 05:41 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Heroic1 View Post
I really want to know, do you all think a male and female can be "just" friends? I read an article stating males secretly hold out on sex thinking the woman is going to change her mind or wait for the perfect opportunity. I somewhat agree to this, but do women have the same concept? Ulterior motive plays an important role in this equation as well. What do you guys/girls think?
Yes. It's possible. I think it requires some degree of finding the other person unattractive or otherwise undesirable for one reason or another. In my experience good relationships with long term potential all started with friendship. Granted there was also mutual attraction but they weren't based solely on that physical chemistry.
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Old 09-08-2013, 01:24 PM   #9
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My best friend is a female and there's no sexual tension between us, so yeah it is entirely possible for it to happen. Now granted there was a time period when there was, but that's another story entirely. Plus we were friends for years before it and have been for over a year since!
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Old 09-08-2013, 05:40 PM   #10
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Short Answer: No, or at least very rarely IMO.

---

Long Answer: It's in our nature as males to have a desire to propagate the species. And though we are sentient beings, we're still animals as well. We can control our instincts to some degree in the moment. But over time, our instincts do have an effect on our behavior, feelings, and thoughts.

Casual friendships between men and women are entirely possible because we can control our baser instincts. But truly intimate friendships are always clouded (from both sides) by the male-female sexual dynamic. I think the only exceptions or rarities are when the two people in question become friends at a very young age and as they mature together as friends, they convince themselves their relationship is more sibling than friendship.
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Old 09-09-2013, 02:26 PM   #11
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Yes. I have more female friends than I do male and there is no sexual tensions between us at all. I have a girlfriend and she's the important girl to me. The other ones are just friends and to people who say "No, girls and guys can't be just friends" I feel sorry for you..
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Old 09-09-2013, 02:35 PM   #12
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Quote:
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Yes. I have more female friends than I do male and there is no sexual tensions between us at all. I have a girlfriend and she's the important girl to me. The other ones are just friends and to people who say "No, girls and guys can't be just friends" I feel sorry for you..
Everything which was said here is what i was about to write down basically aha. Of course males and females can be friends, people need to learn to control themselves and stop being sexual predators lol.
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Old 09-13-2013, 04:52 PM   #13
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As a male I have several female friends, some of them even sleep next to me on a regular basis. All of that without any sexual tension. And I'm not gay either.
Are you sure? I think you might be.
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Old 09-13-2013, 08:26 PM   #14
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It's very possible to have friends of the opposite gender, The Harry Sally Rules are hilariously true, but you can be a civilized human being and try not to jump a friends bones. That's just creepy (unless the feeling is mutual).

Though that requires more willpower than most people seem willing to exert.

OP: That article ... from your summary it sounds like bullshit.

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Are you sure? I think you might be.
That depends on whether there's an attraction. No attraction = no fiddly business
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Old 09-13-2013, 08:28 PM   #15
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So is this thread mainly about having sexual relatonships with your friends if their from the different gender and hit on one of them for an opportunity, or does it really matter to have friends with a different gender than yours?
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Old 09-13-2013, 08:35 PM   #16
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So is this thread mainly about having sexual relatonships with your friends if their from the different gender or does it really matter to have friends with a different gender than yours?
Something like that.

Think it was brought about by some Men/Mars/Women/Venus thing perpetuated by trash rack magazines.
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Old 09-14-2013, 07:15 PM   #17
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Friends bone each other. So yes.
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Old 09-14-2013, 07:26 PM   #18
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The whole "men and women can't just be friends" is cliched movie/sitcom nonsense, and ranks right up there with, "hurr durr I'm gonna put my daughter in a convent when she's 16."
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Old 09-19-2013, 09:42 PM   #19
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Yes guys and girls can be friends. As long as both of you don't have feelings for the other then it will work out.
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Old 09-19-2013, 10:00 PM   #20
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I know any female friends I have, if they are attractive, I think about doing something more with the relationship at least once or twice. If I do not find them attractive, then we will more than likely remain friends.
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Old 09-19-2013, 10:23 PM   #21
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I have plenty of female friends....Would I ever turn them down if they tried to hook up with me?

HELL NO!

It's all we think about....so naturally we would think about hooking up with any female friends we have.
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Old 09-19-2013, 11:05 PM   #22
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I have a fair amount of female friends. Some of them there is that sexual desire, and others there isn't currently, but has previously been.

It's definitely true thatit's harder for a guy to be friends with a girl than it is for a girl to be friends with a guy
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Old 09-20-2013, 12:17 AM   #23
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Quote:
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Yes guys and girls can be friends. As long as both of you don't have feelings for the other then it will work out.
You made it sound even more strange and awkward just for a guy and girl that would like to be friends.

Man does that mean because I never had a female friend in real life would also mean that I'll never have a cute girlfriend? I'd like to know that right now.
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Old 09-20-2013, 12:48 AM   #24
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Originally Posted by CrazyMv94 View Post
You made it sound even more strange and awkward just for a guy and girl that would like to be friends.

Man does that mean because I never had a female friend in real life would also mean that I'll never have a cute girlfriend? I'd like to know that right now.
You're going to be alone forever. Get used to it.
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Old 09-20-2013, 03:07 AM   #25
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You're going to be alone forever. Get used to it.
If you work for xbox360achievements.org, how can you possibly be allowed to say this?
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Old 09-20-2013, 01:43 PM   #26
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You're going to be alone forever. Get used to it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CrazyMv94 View Post
If you work for xbox360achievements.org, how can you possibly be allowed to say this?
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You know what, I redact it. Happy?
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Yes. 10char
You're going to be alone forever. Get used to it. Until you change.

Seriously, though. If an 8 walked up to you right now and said "'k. I'm intrigued. This can really go either way. Give me the elevator pitch as to why you're better than any other guy I could have my pick of. Go." what would you have, really?

And be careful, there, Mv, that you don't exaggerate too much or get obnoxious or else I will dive through your post history and hurt you.
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Old 09-20-2013, 03:13 PM   #27
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If you work for xbox360achievements.org, how can you possibly be allowed to say this?
I don't "work" for them. Why would that matter? Gackt...you can't say humorous things if you represent the site! Pssssssssssssssh. Please.
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Old 09-20-2013, 04:37 PM   #28
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You're going to be alone forever. Get used to it. Until you change.

Seriously, though. If an 8 walked up to you right now and said "'k. I'm intrigued. This can really go either way. Give me the elevator pitch as to why you're better than any other guy I could have my pick of. Go." what would you have, really?

And be careful, there, Mv, that you don't exaggerate too much or get obnoxious or else I will dive through your post history and hurt you.
Not going to lie, half the time I have no clue what you're on about.

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I don't "work" for them. Why would that matter? Gackt...you can't say humorous things if you represent the site! Pssssssssssssssh. Please.
I don't think it matters.
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Old 09-20-2013, 04:40 PM   #29
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Not going to lie, half the time I have no clue what you're on about.
Penishball spfunkrhausen leicht gownniwa soladebahenway, si? Eh? Eh? Ai?

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For fuckssa-
I don't think he's able to sell himself as anything other than a Melvin.

You can totally be that but then you've got to make up in other areas. Affluence. Charisma. Earth shattering genitals. Not be a selfish dick. You know.

All I'm saying is that he was blurbing about not having any "friends that are girls" and then dooming himself to not having, specifically, his words, not mine, "a cute girlfriend" and all I'm saying is that if someone hot approached him, completely out of his league, what would his answer be to at least sell himself to the concept?
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Old 09-21-2013, 07:18 AM   #30
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I think that, yes, friendship is possible. In my experience though, guys are extremely less loyal as friends, especially if they were single to begin with. Maybe it's their controlling girlfriend or something, but when my guy friends have gotten girlfriends, they have totally abandoned not just me but our whole circle of friends. Girls only seem to do that temporarily, but guys seem to do it permanently.
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