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I need serious help before I hurt the THQ guys who made this game


SHawk996
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Yes, let me get this out of the way. I am hard headed. Very hard headed actually. I spent $60, hard earned dollars on this when it first came out. I thought the demo was cool. Game sucks ass, it sucks both nuts and the wang at the same time. But like I said, I am bound and determinded to get 1000 points in this game.

 

I can not, for the life of me, beat supercross. All stock settings, max acceleration, stiffiest suspension, trust me - I have tried it ALL. NONE!!! of it makes any FAWKING difference!!!! I can NEVER, EVER do over 50mph on the big jumps. I case them EVERY time. An extra 5mph, and I could clear it. No problem. But I can't, no matter the gearing, tires, suspension, etc. The AI goes half as fast, and flies twice as far. If I could press a button that would shoot out the knee caps of every person associated with making this game with the shotgun from Gears of War, I would push it so hard it would sink to China. MotoGP '06 is 50 times the game that this POS is. I can beat motoGP in my sleep. MotoGP has a rythm. This has NOTHING. Any old school guys ever play Motocross Madness 2 for PC? I used to OWN at that game, I was so good at it, it was pathetic. So yes, I do know all about finding the fast lines. This is not my first racing game.

 

WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?!?!?!?! Is scrubbing a must? Am I an idiot and just not preloading it correctly, by leaning back while on the face of the jump? WTF IS GOING ON!!!!

 

Just because I KNOW there are a TON of people reading this, and laughing (But only because you guys know EXACTLY what I'm going through!!) I will provide you my lastest drama to laugh at.

 

1. The AI swerve like Chinese women in order to hit you. They don't have a consistent line like in MotoGP...they will swerve off in order to knock you off the track.

 

2. I was in first place...on lap TWO!! I was so happy. Guess what? The guy in last place deceides that he is going to piss on my head. I round a bend, getting ready to face the big triple...and his quad is parked SIDEWAYS ON THE FACE OF THE JUMP, RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY LINE! Just SITTING THERE!! He wasn't even MOVING! So, I slam into him at 50mph (remember, I can never do over 50 on a jump - I can, however, hit it at 150mph, but at the end of the jump I slow down to 50 somehow) and I DON'T wreck! Instead, I do a 540 x infinity off the track. I spun around so many times I almost had a seizure. Never wrecked. I just started laughing, because I hate this game so much. I continue on, now in 9th place. I land the next semi-big jump perfect, like text book perfect. BAM! He goes flying off the bike. There is noone around me.

 

3. Rounding another 90 degree corner, a quad pushes me off the track. Do you guys ever realize they never do this unless you are in the top 3 spots? Anyways, I go off flying into the stands - I don't wreck. I do a WALLRIDE, bounce off one of those metal mini towers, and land back on track! Like, holy fawking hell, how does that happen? Too good to be true, right? Negative. A spec of dirt thrown from a quads tire hits me in the head, and I FALL THROUGH THE MAP!!! Myself and my bike, ring ding ding ding...down into the pits of hell. Start, restart....

 

4. What kind of game seriously puts atv's and dirt bikes together? Hell, how about at your next paintball game, have a few guys with air softs? Makes about as much sense.

 

5. Is there seriously only two sound files for all the atvs and bikes? 2 stroke, and 4 stroke? What a joke.

 

6. Why have 500000 different bikes, when they are all the same, and have no performance difference?

 

7. The 10x trick achievement is a bastard. I will get you...one day.

 

8. I have never, ever, wrecked so many times landing perfect jumps. What a joke.

 

9. If I had a penny for everytime I got tea bagged by some guys quad, I would have enough pennies to repay me for buying this rediculous, weak excuse for a game. In one race. That's all it'd take to repay the game purcahse.

 

10. Am I missing something? When you drive monster trucks, are we racing on the moon? What the hell is up with the moon gravity? Any old school Half Life PC guys? Default was 800, and the gravity feels like it when you changed it to 400 or so.

 

If you have never played this game before, I don't care if someone PAYS YOU to take this game. Do not do it. I consider myself an avid 360 guy, I like to buy and collect games. however, WHEN I hit 1000 points on this game, I think I am going to catch the disc and case on fire with a hair spray torch.

 

If you read this far...you need help more than I do. ;)

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man i lol´ed at least three times at your text and now my workmates think i have gone crazy or something, laughing alone.

 

i wish you the best of luck trying to finish this game, then break it to a thousand pieces, then burn, then shit on the remains, wrap it together in the game box and send it back to thq.

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