Danny Dibo Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 I posted this on the IGN boards a while back. Thought you guys might get a kick out of it! I know Gears has been around for a while, but I figured I would give a little introduction to the players who are not as familiar with its community, as well as a reminder to the vets who may forget. This is a listing of the players you find in a common ranked match online. I have lovingly dubbed them... "The 8" "The Host" Usually the one starting the game, must be patient, observant, friendly, and above all have thick skin. Cause nothing he does in the game will be a direct response of his ability as a player. No sir, anything he does was simply, "host advantage." This player can be found before the first round, sleeping in the start up menu. "The Quitter" A strange and unpredictable breed. Usually he will wait patiently for the game to start. And then disappear unannounced. He almost always plays for your team. Usually can be found between 2nd and 3rd rounds after your team was just wiped. "The Glitcher" Has an array of tricks, none of which are approved of. He can kill you with exploding chainsaws, invisible frags, even his bare fists from across the map!! Usually can be found either flying above the map, hiding below it, or oh crap!! Right Behind You!!!!!! "The Kill-Stealer" Arguably, the most hated of the 8. He's your "teammate", you know, the one hiding behind the dumpster while you were going one on two. He will only move when he sees a weakened or downed enemy and then he will pounce on them, the weaker the better. Regardless of what gun your lining up the kill with. He can be found quite easily. Usually has a line after the game that looks like this, 11 kills 0 downs 112 points. "The Certified Underachiever" This is the unlucky soul of the game. Usually one or two teammates will vouch for this guy. you expect this guy will lead your team or at least come up with 20 somethin kills. Instead he's sitting on 7 and your 2 rounds from failure. What are you gonna do tho?? He can be found, exploding into a fit of rage about 2/3rds of a second after he's blown to pieces. "The Defect" That one pain in the neck who for no other reason then his incompetence just CANNOT play Gow. Either he's walking in a circle on the opposite side of his map, or his microphone won't stop making that humming sound at 180 decibals. Has also been known as the "AFKer" in the Midwest. "The Chainsaw" Ancient ancestor of the "Melee addict". He is the one who has absolutly no clue how to activate the shotgun, or the pistol. But, boy oh boy, he knows where that "B" button is. This guy can be found either chainsawing your teammate and then being blown away, or coming right for you, revved up, and nowhere near melee range. "The 10 Year Old" There are 2 different versions of this one. A: the one who wants to control the team, tell you where to go, and what weapon to use, he won't stop talking about the new gun in the new level in the new update, his inside source told him is coming next week. And when you die, he's usually running around the map attempting a draw. B: you can't believe this little B*****d is 10! He's killed you every round, he's leading the team, he's got every achievement, and yet he hasn't begun to achieve puberty. Just makes you wish you were 12 again, so u could get away with making this kid miserable, without those pesky legal problems. ------------------------------------------------ So there you have it, the most common players on GoW! Hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to add some alternates to this list of whatever characters you may come across! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rocket Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 Now that's pretty funny, however I disagree with "the Chainsaw". My opinion of it is this, it is part of the game. If you got caught by it, then you know what it's your fault that you got humiliated by it. Just like a frag tag, you were unable to stop him from getting you, so who is the worse player in that scenario, the guy who was able to sneak up on you and get you, or the one who wasn't paying enough attention to notice that a guy was coming up on you...doesn't matter if you are going one on two...the game has the chainsaw for a reason...total and utter humiliation of the player who's body is shakin' like someone stuck an electrified rod up his ass... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aswipe21 Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 All eight are definitely true. This should be the laws of GOW. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deathbypig37x Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 This is pretty hilarious. I understand where you're coming from Rocket, but man people who Chainsaw only are stupid. I mean, I hate after dying I have to watch some idiot on my team revving the chainsaw from a mile away only to get downed by a lancer in less than two seconds. I can understand why you'd use Chainsaw, but why do your teamates always have to pick the wrong time to try it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KRIS DETH Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 This Is Amazing Dude!! lol freaking amaizng!! this has gotta be stickyed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jorGe62990 Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 some funny and very true stuff up there, my personal favorite: the 10 year old (part A of course) cause ill be damned the day a 10 year gives me a lesson in GoW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaaady Souljah Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 very good stuff... i like it. "the new gun in the new level in the new update, his inside source told him is coming next week" not sticky material, as it is not helpful to the actual game. but quite funny nonetheless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bplayak Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 Now that's pretty funny, however I disagree with "the Chainsaw". My opinion of it is this, it is part of the game. If you got caught by it, then you know what it's your fault that you got humiliated by it. Just like a frag tag, you were unable to stop him from getting you, so who is the worse player in that scenario, the guy who was able to sneak up on you and get you, or the one who wasn't paying enough attention to notice that a guy was coming up on you...doesn't matter if you are going one on two...the game has the chainsaw for a reason...total and utter humiliation of the player who's body is shakin' like someone stuck an electrified rod up his ass... These were all GREAT! I think the chainsaw refers to that guy who just runs around with the "b" button jammed down. C'mon you know that guy rocket who as soon as he gets into the action you peek to the left of your screen and here he is! Slowly working his way into the group with the chainsaw smoke coming out of his gun because he's already had the "b" button held down for at LEAST a minute, lol. Chainsawing is fun when used in the right situations I mean Jeez that's all me and my teammates do some rounds is chainsaw and say "Like a loaf of bread" lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rocket Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 These were all GREAT! I think the chainsaw refers to that guy who just runs around with the "b" button jammed down. C'mon you know that guy rocket who as soon as he gets into the action you peek to the left of your screen and here he is! Slowly working his way into the group with the chainsaw smoke coming out of his gun because he's already had the "b" button held down for at LEAST a minute, lol. Chainsawing is fun when used in the right situations I mean Jeez that's all me and my teammates do some rounds is chainsaw and say "Like a loaf of bread" lol I got ya, I know who that guy is...he's an idiot through and through...at least I'm not the only one who understands the meaning of the chainsaw tho...I hate people that just gripe about it all day long...but I'm not going anymore off topic in here than I already have.... Again...great post...the 10yr old made me laugh out loud... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wouter666 Posted June 30, 2007 Share Posted June 30, 2007 "The 10 Year Old" C. The one who only wants to play achievement matches. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadDog2010 Posted June 30, 2007 Share Posted June 30, 2007 Dude, you nailed it on the spot. So funny, and so true at the same time. This is great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Divian BE Posted June 30, 2007 Share Posted June 30, 2007 Hahaha, these characteristics pretty much make it... I'm more like "The one who tries and dies"... Most likely because of "the glitcher" or "the 10 year old B" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L3giOn Posted June 30, 2007 Share Posted June 30, 2007 Wow, it's so refreshing to see a thread like this in the Gears forum. Class Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danny Dibo Posted June 30, 2007 Author Share Posted June 30, 2007 Glad you guys like it! Just wondering, Which one of these best fits your playing style?? Myself, I'm mostly.. "The Mute" A stone-cold Killer, who never makes even the slightest peep, just lets his game do the talking. This is from the fact I'm soo sick of 10-year old A I can't stand the sound of his high pitch opera ready voice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZakkuHiryado Posted June 30, 2007 Share Posted June 30, 2007 Freaking hilarious! Don't forget the Quitter that quits right after his own team just owned. What's up with that? p.s. love that "push button receive bacon" rofl! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Who128 Posted July 1, 2007 Share Posted July 1, 2007 All eight are definitely true. This should be the laws of GOW. Agreed the laws of GoW. In GoW We Trust!!! So stupid, yet so funny and true. Nice post! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fullawka14 Posted July 2, 2007 Share Posted July 2, 2007 Yo that is so true, There is like at least one of those in every ranked match. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
veritas347 Posted July 2, 2007 Share Posted July 2, 2007 Glad you guys like it! Just wondering, Which one of these best fits your playing style?? Myself, I'm mostly.. "The Mute" A stone-cold Killer, who never makes even the slightest peep, just lets his game do the talking. This is from the fact I'm soo sick of 10-year old A I can't stand the sound of his high pitch opera ready voice. i wuold have to agree with you i dont like talking much i just play the game Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xVanished Posted July 2, 2007 Share Posted July 2, 2007 That's funny, I like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NO SOLE OUT Posted July 2, 2007 Share Posted July 2, 2007 dame that was just like the gears of war mach i just played to day.but yeah let the killing spree speak for it self.{NSO} Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zdarko43 Posted July 3, 2007 Share Posted July 3, 2007 lmao dude this is one of the few posts worth actually reading.. thumbs up! you know, i sympathise. because i think every match i play, i'm stuck on the 10 year old, and 2 quitters team. it boils down to me and the ten year old vs 4, until the 10 yr old quits because he's hiding in the corner and after i'm dead im messaging the enemies to his location. lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
veritas347 Posted July 3, 2007 Share Posted July 3, 2007 i hate being on the 10yr olds team and most of all i hate the glitchers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sln333 Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 "the 8" is hilarious and unfortunately it describes gears well. i get really happy if i end up on a little kid's team and they don't complain. i love the description of the host. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F089H Posted July 7, 2007 Share Posted July 7, 2007 Very Funny. Nice Post.Too bad/Nice to know. I don't fit any of those descriptions.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XxCARBONKIDxX Posted July 7, 2007 Share Posted July 7, 2007 Thats a hilarious and very true list. Ive come across all those sorts of players and its damn annoying!!! Although sadly, im one of those annoying 11 year olds ( not a bossy one though if u want bossy youd be looking for rising dead. But im the sort that gets pissed off coz i suck at gow and i usually muck up the team when i feel annoyed. and thats about it thank you bye. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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