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"The 8"


Danny Dibo
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I posted this on the IGN boards a while back. Thought you guys might get a kick out of it!

 

 

 

 

I know Gears has been around for a while,

but I figured I would give a little introduction to the players who are not as familiar with its community, as well as a reminder to the vets who may forget.

This is a listing of the players you find in a common ranked match online.

I have lovingly dubbed them...

 

"The 8"

 

 

"The Host"

Usually the one starting the game, must be patient, observant, friendly, and above all have thick skin. Cause nothing he does in the game will be a direct response of his ability as a player. No sir, anything he does was simply, "host advantage." This player can be found before the first round, sleeping in the start up menu.

 

"The Quitter"

A strange and unpredictable breed. Usually he will wait patiently for the game to start. And then disappear unannounced. He almost always plays for your team. Usually can be found between 2nd and 3rd rounds after your team was just wiped.

 

"The Glitcher"

Has an array of tricks, none of which are approved of. He can kill you with exploding chainsaws, invisible frags, even his bare fists from across the map!! Usually can be found either flying above the map, hiding below it, or oh crap!! Right Behind You!!!!!!

 

"The Kill-Stealer"

Arguably, the most hated of the 8. He's your "teammate", you know, the one hiding behind the dumpster while you were going one on two. He will only move when he sees a weakened or downed enemy and then he will pounce on them, the weaker the better. Regardless of what gun your lining up the kill with. He can be found quite easily. Usually has a line after the game that looks like this,

11 kills 0 downs 112 points.

 

"The Certified Underachiever"

This is the unlucky soul of the game.

Usually one or two teammates will vouch for this guy. you expect this guy will lead your team or at least come up with 20 somethin kills. Instead he's sitting on 7 and your 2 rounds from failure. What are you gonna do tho?? He can be found, exploding into a fit of rage about 2/3rds of a second after he's blown to pieces.

 

"The Defect"

That one pain in the neck who for no other reason then his incompetence just CANNOT play Gow. Either he's walking in a circle on the opposite side of his map, or his microphone won't stop making that humming sound at 180 decibals. Has also been known as the "AFKer" in the Midwest.

"The Chainsaw"

Ancient ancestor of the "Melee addict". He is the one who has absolutly no clue how to activate the shotgun, or the pistol.

But, boy oh boy, he knows where that "B" button is. This guy can be found either chainsawing your teammate and then being blown away, or coming right for you, revved up, and nowhere near melee range.

 

"The 10 Year Old"

There are 2 different versions of this one.

A: the one who wants to control the team, tell you where to go, and what weapon to use, he won't stop talking about the new gun in the new level in the new update, his inside source told him is coming next week. And when you die, he's usually running around the map attempting a draw.

 

B: you can't believe this little B*****d is 10! He's killed you every round, he's leading the team, he's got every achievement, and yet he hasn't begun to achieve puberty. Just makes you wish you were 12 again, so u could get away with making this kid miserable, without those pesky legal problems.

 

------------------------------------------------

 

 

So there you have it, the most common players on GoW! Hope you enjoyed it.

Feel free to add some alternates to this list of whatever characters you may come across!

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Now that's pretty funny, however I disagree with "the Chainsaw". My opinion of it is this, it is part of the game. If you got caught by it, then you know what it's your fault that you got humiliated by it. Just like a frag tag, you were unable to stop him from getting you, so who is the worse player in that scenario, the guy who was able to sneak up on you and get you, or the one who wasn't paying enough attention to notice that a guy was coming up on you...doesn't matter if you are going one on two...the game has the chainsaw for a reason...total and utter humiliation of the player who's body is shakin' like someone stuck an electrified rod up his ass...

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This is pretty hilarious. I understand where you're coming from Rocket, but man people who Chainsaw only are stupid. I mean, I hate after dying I have to watch some idiot on my team revving the chainsaw from a mile away only to get downed by a lancer in less than two seconds. I can understand why you'd use Chainsaw, but why do your teamates always have to pick the wrong time to try it?

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Now that's pretty funny, however I disagree with "the Chainsaw". My opinion of it is this, it is part of the game. If you got caught by it, then you know what it's your fault that you got humiliated by it. Just like a frag tag, you were unable to stop him from getting you, so who is the worse player in that scenario, the guy who was able to sneak up on you and get you, or the one who wasn't paying enough attention to notice that a guy was coming up on you...doesn't matter if you are going one on two...the game has the chainsaw for a reason...total and utter humiliation of the player who's body is shakin' like someone stuck an electrified rod up his ass...

 

These were all GREAT! I think the chainsaw refers to that guy who just runs around with the "b" button jammed down. C'mon you know that guy rocket who as soon as he gets into the action you peek to the left of your screen and here he is! Slowly working his way into the group with the chainsaw smoke coming out of his gun because he's already had the "b" button held down for at LEAST a minute, lol. Chainsawing is fun when used in the right situations ;) I mean Jeez that's all me and my teammates do some rounds is chainsaw and say "Like a loaf of bread" lol

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These were all GREAT! I think the chainsaw refers to that guy who just runs around with the "b" button jammed down. C'mon you know that guy rocket who as soon as he gets into the action you peek to the left of your screen and here he is! Slowly working his way into the group with the chainsaw smoke coming out of his gun because he's already had the "b" button held down for at LEAST a minute, lol. Chainsawing is fun when used in the right situations ;) I mean Jeez that's all me and my teammates do some rounds is chainsaw and say "Like a loaf of bread" lol

 

 

I got ya, I know who that guy is...he's an idiot through and through...at least I'm not the only one who understands the meaning of the chainsaw tho...I hate people that just gripe about it all day long...but I'm not going anymore off topic in here than I already have....

 

Again...great post...the 10yr old made me laugh out loud...

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Glad you guys like it!

 

Just wondering,

Which one of these best fits your playing style??

 

Myself, I'm mostly..

"The Mute"

A stone-cold Killer, who never makes even the slightest peep, just lets his game do the talking.

This is from the fact I'm soo sick of 10-year old A I can't stand the sound of his high pitch opera ready voice.

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Glad you guys like it!

 

Just wondering,

Which one of these best fits your playing style??

 

Myself, I'm mostly..

"The Mute"

A stone-cold Killer, who never makes even the slightest peep, just lets his game do the talking.

This is from the fact I'm soo sick of 10-year old A I can't stand the sound of his high pitch opera ready voice.

i wuold have to agree with you i dont like talking much i just play the game
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lmao dude this is one of the few posts worth actually reading.. thumbs up!

 

you know, i sympathise. because i think every match i play, i'm stuck on the 10 year old, and 2 quitters team.

 

it boils down to me and the ten year old vs 4, until the 10 yr old quits because he's hiding in the corner and after i'm dead im messaging the enemies to his location. lol.

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Thats a hilarious and very true list. Ive come across all those sorts of players and its damn annoying!!! Although sadly, im one of those annoying 11 year olds ( not a bossy one though if u want bossy youd be looking for rising dead. But im the sort that gets pissed off coz i suck at gow and i usually muck up the team when i feel annoyed. and thats about it thank you bye.

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