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Old 01-17-2012, 06:09 AM   #1
Gio De Janiero
 
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Amy...why? Why have you choosen to hurt me so?...

January 16th, 2012

Dear Amy,

I tried...I REALLY DID. I tried to look past ALL of your horrible, horrible flaws. You got me to purchase you after playing the demo of the 1st level. Now dont get me wrong you were FAR from good, but after finishing the 1st level I thought "well your....ok. Dammit your the 1st survival horror game for XBLA so I'm going to give you a chance" Doesnt everyone deserve a chance?. Little did I know, Amy, that from the 2nd level and on you would be the most wretched, frustrating, disgusting expirience I would yet to have in 2012 (And the new year JUST started, mind you). Why Amy? Why do this to me when I was eagerly anticipating you? Why do this to me after watching your videos and you showing some promise? Why?

Amy, please understand that Im just looking for answers. Please explain to me why your framerate SO terrible? Honestly sweetie, its bad....DAMN bad. Why is it the A.I. of you and the "zombies/monsters" that infest your world are as dumb as a box of bricks? Why wont you hold my hand after I press and hold RB about a dozen or so times? Why cant you go up and down ladders? Are your legs broken honey? They dont look it. Why are your "powers" so useless the majority of the time? Why are your checkpoints SO FAR APART from one another? Forcing me to replay a good 15-20 minutes of the same area is not a good way to win me over. Why is there a poor lack of description on how to pass many areas? Or for the most part no descriptions at all? Why....God why...after all the suffering that I went through to get you to the hospital...why is your story still COMPLETELY VAGUE? Why wasnt anything explained? Why wasnt I told what was the cause of all this?Why wasnt I told why they were experimenting on you? Why wasnt I told why your a living cure to whats going on? Its just questions and more questions that all go unanswered. If this was done in the hope to explain everything in your return (i.e. part 2) then I'm sorry...so VERY sorry, but I WILL NOT return to help you. I've taken as much as I could, but you just insist on treating me like garbage. Calm down baby....I know your upset, and this isnt an attack on you but......you MUST know how I feel after playing you, and if you dont then you most certainly do now. Never again....

I pray to anyone else that may read this by chance...please if ever you see Amy approach you, stay as far away from her as possible. All you will receive from her is an endless amount of pain and suffering. Please....please...heed my words, no good will EVER come from this little girl. Forget she exists...I most certainly will....

Best regards,
Gio De Janiero
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Old 01-20-2012, 02:18 AM   #2
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Old 01-26-2012, 12:52 AM   #3
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This letter has informed me more than any video game review ever has. Thank you. I was seriously considering buying this game, since the demo was just "okay", but after knowing how broken the game play is and how you get so little story information for the game to make sense, I think I'll pass. Thank you sir for this awesome post. I'm sure you've saved me from a huge amount of anger and frustration.
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Old 01-29-2012, 01:23 PM   #4
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What a great Dear Amy aka Dear John letter my friend lol. Yes I tried to enjoy this game but I wasn't sold. I read the reviews but was so curious so I played the demo. Glad I only played the demo. I deleted it after 5 minutes of gameplay. It has potential but it needs to be revamped and picked up by another game developer like Capcom or THQ.
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Old 02-20-2012, 06:05 PM   #5
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That was a very good letter....
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Old 03-17-2012, 06:35 AM   #6
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This might be the dumbest thing I've ever read in the history of the internet. And that's pretty goddamn dumb. This game is great and its not for shitty casual gamers looking for an easy 200G, it is a true survival horror game, with balls-hard survival mechanics. Too bad it was too hard for you guys, you're missing out on a great game while you cry in the corner and write up silly letters addressed to inanimate objects.
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