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Old 09-18-2013, 01:30 AM   #1
Ham Woopan
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Adventures in Los Santos and Blaine County

I thought it would be a good idea to create a thread that we could use to talk about our own little adventures in Los Santos. Basically anything funny you've come across, some awesome shootout you just survived or just a typical day through Los Santos. Hopefully this will help reduce the random threads being thrown around like candy at a parade (it probably won't.) Also keep it spoiler-free or use spoiler tags if necessary.

So I've been browsing the Internet for a couple of hours now and I've come across a website named 'vinewoodloglinegenerator.com.' The premise of this website is to create a log line for a vine wood film. It's sort of like those old adlib books. Anyway the movie I pitched was:

"When a British lumberjack is imprisoned for fingering old ladies, he must team up with a slow talking circus clown with wandering hands and take on a bionic Japanese school girl in order to bring closure to a childhood trauma buried deep in his ass."

The part that really got me was that while creating the log line 'British' is a character flaw.
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Old 09-18-2013, 01:33 AM   #2
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I like the idea of this thread

Nothing epic here, just funny. I was going about 90 mph down the street and had to take a quick right, so I used Franklin's ability to slow down time and I turned WAY to fast. I barrel rolled about 15 times down the street hitting pedestrians on the way, and when I finally stop in the middle of the road...a truck t-boned me!

My medical bill was only $15 If only life were that cheap.
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Old 09-18-2013, 01:34 AM   #3
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I was playing tennis with some random chick. She beat me so I beat her over the face with my fist.
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Old 09-18-2013, 01:35 AM   #4
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I was playing tennis with some random chick. She beat me so I beat her over the face with my fist.
Rofl! Jesus, dude!
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Old 09-18-2013, 01:40 AM   #5
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I was playing tennis with some random chick. She beat me so I beat her over the face with my fist.
Was it Amanda?
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Old 09-18-2013, 01:43 AM   #6
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Was it Amanda?
Amanda beat me at Tennis, so this happened;

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Old 09-18-2013, 01:46 AM   #7
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Rofl! Jesus, dude!
This game brings out the best in us.
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Old 09-18-2013, 01:51 AM   #8
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I call this, Shit your Pants Swimming.

Find a JetSki and wait until it becomes night time. Now start heading out into the ocean, and don't turn back for a good while. You will start to notice the waves increase in size and the water is more 'violent'. Go so far out there you can barely see any island lights.

Now, aim for a big wave and get air off of it. Hit Y to jump off your JetSki in mid air.

This is where you may do some poopy.

Now, you must find your JetSki before you become fish food. Quickly find your JetSki!!

Don't worry though, if you fail, you gain an achievement.

Way more fun then simply swimming out there.

Cheers.

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Old 09-18-2013, 01:54 AM   #9
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ayy quick question, is there any sort of dirt bike/quad track in this game somewhere like in GTA SA? been looking for over an hour today and couldn't find one, but then again i barely covered any of the map...
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Old 09-18-2013, 01:56 AM   #10
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ayy quick question, is there any sort of dirt bike/quad track in this game somewhere like in GTA SA? been looking for over an hour today and couldn't find one, but then again i barely covered any of the map...
There are both dirt bikes and ATVs. Tons of different off road vehicles too. Buggies and stuff.
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Old 09-18-2013, 02:02 AM   #11
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I was just up on top of the bridge where the Rocket Launcher spawns, letting my ammo fill up and watching the cinematic camera go all over the cityscape when the sound was filled with a chopper sound.

I moved back to normal camera mode and there was a chopper flying by the bridge about 100 ft away. I pulled and aimed at the chopper with my brand new RPG and it literally dove and flew away quickly.

I LOL'd so hard. That pilot just freaked the fuck out when he saw me point that thing at him.
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Old 09-18-2013, 02:39 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SIMPLYMIDGET View Post
I call this, Shit your Pants Swimming.

Find a JetSki and wait until it becomes night time. Now start heading out into the ocean, and don't turn back for a good while. You will start to notice the waves increase in size and the water is more 'violent'. Go so far out there you can barely see any island lights.

Now, aim for a big wave and get air off of it. Hit Y to jump off your JetSki in mid air.

This is where you may do some poopy.

Now, you must find your JetSki before you become fish food. Quickly find your JetSki!!

Don't worry though, if you fail, you gain an achievement.

Way more fun then simply swimming out there.

Cheers.
Just tried it out. I hit a huge wave, jumped out, and got thrust underwater. As I was swimming back I looked behind me and could see the shark getting closer. Oh god the suspense!

Edit: I had two sharks on me and got eaten as I was climbing back on the Jetski. Was not expecting that. Brb crying.
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Old 09-18-2013, 04:28 AM   #13
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I just beat impotent rage to death with my bare hands, shot the vinewood zombie in the face with a shotgun, and then took the vinewood star's tour

And as I typed this the camera just went into cinematic mode and focused on the ass of a woman walking down the street...
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Old 09-18-2013, 04:36 AM   #14
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Just tried it out. I hit a huge wave, jumped out, and got thrust underwater. As I was swimming back I looked behind me and could see the shark getting closer. Oh god the suspense!

Edit: I had two sharks on me and got eaten as I was climbing back on the Jetski. Was not expecting that. Brb crying.
Haha shit is crazy.
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Old 09-18-2013, 06:06 PM   #15
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So my order I sent with my phone finally went through Los Santos Customs. I decide to go do a street race to test it out. I win the race... but smash the front end so bad both tires are facing inward so it's literally impossible to turn the vehicle. Ended doing a quick save and reloading it. It's actually a good way to fix cars for free.
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Old 09-18-2013, 06:29 PM   #16
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I was playing with Michael and decided I wanted to go ride the cables cars marked on the map thinking it might count towards 100%. There are two icons, what I didnít know is that one of them is at road level, the other is at the top of a mountain. Of course I pick the latter.

Iím just driving a standard sedan. As Iím traveling up the mountain dirt road a bobcat jumps out, so of course I run it over. I get out thinking maybe I can skin itÖno such luck. I get back in the car and keep going. I finally get to a point when the car wonít go anymore, so I get out and proceed on foot. I soon see two hikers also headed to the top. I pay them no attention at first and pass by them. I quickly had a change of heart and run back to them, knocking them both out and steal their money (only $15 each). Yay for no cops!

I finally get to the top and find the parachute and letter scrap. I get in the cable car and ride back down. It was at this point I realized it would have made more sense to start at the bottom first, but the adventure up the mountain was much more fun. My next stop was to see my shrink.
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Old 09-18-2013, 09:17 PM   #17
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... I just saw big foot in the forest. I thought it was someone I was supposed to be killing in the mission so I shot and then realized after the body disappeared instantly what it was.
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Old 09-18-2013, 09:21 PM   #18
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... I just saw big foot in the forest. I thought it was someone I was supposed to be killing in the mission so I shot and then realized after the body disappeared instantly what it was.
Second person to mention this absolutely lucky as shit. I've yet to find it but I've spent very little time in the forest so far.
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Destiny is hands down best game in life.


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Old 09-18-2013, 09:42 PM   #19
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Second person to mention this absolutely lucky as shit. I've yet to find it but I've spent very little time in the forest so far.
It was during a mission where you have to snipe from a chopper that I found him. Maybe when you get to that point you'll be able to see him somewhere.
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Old 09-19-2013, 01:56 AM   #20
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Try 'jacking a plane with cops all over you. I backed over one cop car and couldn't get him out from under me. Plane started going sideways instead of straight, the direction the cop car wanted to go. So much for the physics in this game. Can the planes even turn?
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Old 09-19-2013, 02:46 AM   #21
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I was cruising round at night on a super bike and pulled up at some lights between two other bikers, I did a burnout and we all took off on an impromptu race around the city. As we were all going down a long straight a truck came out of nowhere and they both smashed into the side of it. I pissed myself laughing and took one of their bikes.
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Old 09-19-2013, 03:58 AM   #22
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Quote:
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ayy quick question, is there any sort of dirt bike/quad track in this game somewhere like in GTA SA? been looking for over an hour today and couldn't find one, but then again i barely covered any of the map...
You'll need the nutter char for this one.
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Old 09-19-2013, 04:17 AM   #23
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Try 'jacking a plane with cops all over you. I backed over one cop car and couldn't get him out from under me. Plane started going sideways instead of straight, the direction the cop car wanted to go. So much for the physics in this game. Can the planes even turn?
the and buttons turn all the airborne vehicles.


Craziest thing I have done so far: Steal a Hearse and then pick up a Prostitute.
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Old 09-19-2013, 05:03 AM   #24
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I filmed this as it happened.
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Old 09-20-2013, 09:26 PM   #25
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I'd be screaming in joy the entire time.

So apparently cars can explode if they smash into a wall hard enough? I'm running from the cops on a thruway when I spot a hole in the railing. I jump through it but botched the landing. As I'm just about to pull away I look behind me and see a cop car follow me through the jump, land front-first and immediately explode, killing me.
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Old 09-20-2013, 10:17 PM   #26
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It's nothing major,but I car jacked micheals dr as Michael and when I threw him out of his car he yelled "were gonna talk about this in your next session!!"

Gave me a quick laugh.
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......what does this even say? Did you just pass out on your keyboard?
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Old 09-21-2013, 01:15 AM   #27
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I think I just found Michael's Wife (foxymama21) on a dating site (www.hushsmush.com)

Sent her a grope as Michael and I'm hoping I get a response....
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Old 09-21-2013, 01:16 AM   #28
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I think I just found Michael's Wife (foxymama21) on a dating site (www.hushsmush.com)

Sent her a grope as Michael and I'm hoping I get a response....
LOL wtf..she said she was moving out with the kids for a while not breaking up with me..bitch.
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Old 09-21-2013, 03:03 AM   #29
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Just had a random event as Trevor in the Chiliad Mountain State Wilderness close to one of his hunting grounds. A dirt path off the main road had a crime scene set up just like the drug deal gone bad in No Country For Old Men. Pick up trucks, dead mexicans, guns, a briefcase carrying $25,000... hells bells, they even shot the dog. I mercifully finished off the couple of incapacitated survivors (with my silenced shotgun ala Anton Chigurh), grabbed the briefcase, & booked it. Very soon after I had some cholos hot on my trail. We had a big ol' shoot out on the Great Ocean Highway. It was amazing.
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Old 09-21-2013, 04:15 AM   #30
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Walking out of the private dance room at the stripclub and hearing a specific character say "Can you ask the DJ if he can play some horrorcore". Then getting in my car (Michael's main car) to take Nikki home and seeing $ spinners on it, which I had never noticed.

had a little chuckle over that one.
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