Festive Feature #4 - Top 5 Most Bizarre Glitches of 2011
Written Thursday, December 22, 2011 By Dan WebbView author's profile
Our Festive Features aren’t just about who’s the best at this and that, they’re all about fun too, you know, because we’re fun guys. This year in particular has had its fair share of rather amusing glitches and today, we turn our attention to the most bizarre and the most amusing glitches of the year – you know, because they’re always likely to either bring a smile or evoke a feeling of, “double-yew tee eff!?” Of course, glitches in games are bad, but they’re inevitable, especially in this day and age of patch-on-the-fly-development, so let us take a minute to “celebrate” the year’s most amusing and downright bizarre.
Let’s not beat around the bush here, Call of Juarez: The Cartel was one glitchy mess. In fact, it was by far one of the glitchiest games we’ve ever come across, so not only did Techland take away the one thing that was fairly unique about its franchise, but they obviously didn’t show the same level of care and commitment that we’ve come to expect in their previous Western-orientated outings. This glitch in particular is a frankly bizarre one and absolutely frickin’ crazy – if we’re being perfectly honest, we can’t even see how this could happen. As you can see in the video below, Call of Juarez: The Cartel is prone to some insane character model glitches, as demonstrated here in the multiplayer lobby, and as far as glitches go, this is a pretty bizarre one. The guy must’ve had a rib or two removed.
Yes, we know this is a glitch that came from the Battlefield 3 beta, but that doesn’t make it any less bizarre or any less amusing. It’s one of those glitches that you can’t really miss out when you do a top 5 list like this and so, guess what? We didn’t! The “worm” glitch seemed to crop up when a player dropped to the prone position and continued to shift around the turf, stretching the neck and the body in some frankly bizarre Stretch Armstrong kind of way. Of course, this got fixed between the release of the beta and the release of the full retail game, but I guess at least we can say that one positive thing came out of the Battlefield 3 beta now, right? Baddumtish!
One of the great things with Bethesda’s The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is that despite its brilliance, with such an ambitious open-world game such as it is, it’s never going to be glitch free. Hell, some of the funniest and most bizarre glitches in recent years have come from Bethesda games, a la Oblivion and Fallout, and Skyrim is no different. Let’s cut to the chase… we may as well call the rest of the list: Skyrim’s funniest glitches of 2011, because it’s nothing but Skyrim from here on out. First up, this is what happens when you have a fight with a Greybeard… you get iced (literally) and then get spun around the world like a pinball being belted around the inside of a pinball machine. See a Greybeard in the future, the one chief law is this: don’t mess with them or you could end up like this.
There’s nothing like a specific species taking on the coded behaviours of an entirely different species. We laughed our asses off at Red Dead Redemption’s Donkey Lady and their flying people last year and this year, again thanks to Skyrim, we have something else entirely to laugh our asses off with. In this rather amusing clip it appears as if one of Skyrim’s horses – who we’ve decided is called Ed – seems to think he’s a dragon… well, the worse dragon ever, of course… that means no fire-breathing and no deadly attacks… basically, it’s a horse who’s just flying around thinking he’s all badass and that. Clue: he’s not… but he sure is funny.
The best thing about patches is that they fix stuff, right? Well, that is unless you’re a Bethesda game – ouch! – and thanks to Skyrim’s 1.2 patch, not only did the Washington based studio nuke all resistances – double ouch! – but it comically added backwards flying dragons for some people. That’s not a metaphor either, the dragon is genuinely flying backwards, flying erratically… doing everything a dragon shouldn’t do: that’s flying around with no menace whatsoever and the genuine laughing stock of Skyrim. Oh, Mr. Backwards Flying Dragon, you are one crazy so-and-so. It’s bizarre, it’s rather amusing, it’s the unpredictable nature of patching. It’s Skyrim, baby, and that’s all you need to know.