- Estimated difficulty: 3/10 [for "The Flapmaster"]
- Offline: 30 
- Online: 0
- Approximate amount of time to 1000: 2-10+ hours [for "The Flapmaster"]
- Minimum number of playthroughs needed: 1
- Number of missable achievements: None
- Does difficulty affect achievements: No difficulty
- Do cheat codes disable achievements: No cheat codes
- Glitchy / unobtainable achievements: No
- Extra equipment needed: No
- Stackable achievements: Yes. You can play the Xbox 360, Xbox One and Windows 10 versions and earn 1000 in each version.
DLC: Goat Simulator: GoatZ
- Difficulty: 2/10
- Time to 360: 4-5 Hours
- Unobtainable: None
DLC: Goat Simulator: Goat MMO
- Difficulty: 1/10
- Time to 640: 2-3 Hours
- Unobtainable: None
DLC: Goat Simulator: Payday
- Difficulty: 2/10
- Time to 195: 2-3 Hours
- Unobtainable: None
DLC: Goat Simulator: Waste of Space
- Difficulty: 3/10 [for the three piloting achievements]
- Time to 180: 4-5 Hours
- Unobtainable: None
Thanks to KorbeK Gaming and Maka91Productions for use of their videos. Credit goes to Maka for providing the basis for much of this guide.
Originally released on Steam for the PC, Goat Simulator is a game with no real purpose or direction. It is literally a game where you run around the map as a goat and cause havoc. That’s it. There is no story to speak of; it is simply a physics playground designed around how certain objects (you, the goat) interact with other objects (the environment). The game is littered with countless bugs and glitches, but none that cause any achievements to be unobtainable.
This game is pretty straightforward when it comes to the achievements, and none are missable. There are two locations, Goat Ville and Goat City Bay. Most of the achievements are specific to one location or the other, so it is recommended that, to save time, you complete one location before moving on to the next.
Aside from unlocking achievements, you earn a score for doing certain actions, like wall jumping, chaining together destruction, unlocking mutators, and so on. If you are not interested in the leaderboards, the prospect of points in this game is utterly meaningless.
Speaking of mutators, these are features that you unlock throughout the game that can aid you in earning achievements quicker. They can modify your appearance, alter your physics properties or bestow upon you special abilities. While most of them are just a novelty, the Angel Goat and Double Jump mutators are almost a necessity. Double Jump enables you to, guess what, double jump, while Angel Goat allows you to jump higher and farther than you thought possible. Double Jump is unlocked by default, and when you unlock Angel Goat, it is recommended that they always be turned on.
This game can be played solo or split-screen co-op. All achievements are attainable regardless of how you play it, but take note; if playing co-op, only Player 1 earns the achievements, even if Player 2 fulfills the requirements.
While you have access to both locations right from the start and can unlock the achievements in any order, it is best to unlock "Angel Goat" as early as possible, as when combined with the Double Jump mutator, it makes it easier to access higher areas and unlock pretty much every achievement.
Note: The requirements for the achievement "Devil Goat" are different on the Xbox 360 than they are on the Xbox One. On the Xbox One, you can only summon four goats at any one time with the Goat Queen; on the Xbox 360 there is no limit.
There are 16 achievements to unlock specifically in Goat Ville. For the purpose of this guide, I will be using the house you spawn in front of at the beginning of the game as a reference point.
All of the achievements in this location are relatively easy to unlock, with "Mile High Club" and "Around the World on five Trampolines" possibly requiring multiple tries. Most of them require just a specific action or two for them to unlock, with each taking only a minute or two.
The only Goat Ville-specific achievement that make take a little time (and by that I mean 15-20 minutes) is the collection of the 20 golden trophies for the "Try Hard" achievement; and even that isn’t difficult. Most you will come across as you run back and forth across the small map unlocking the other achievements. Refer to the video in the solution if you are having trouble locating any of them.
Goat City Bay:
There are 10 achievements to unlock specifically in Goat City Bay. For the purpose of this guide, I will be using the hotel skyscraper as a reference point.
These achievements take even less time to unlock than the ones in Goat Ville, with just about all of them requiring only one or two actions. "Is That A Goat?" and "Hat Simulator" require you to locate items and bring it to another location, but again, these take no time at all. The only one that takes longer is the collectible one, "I Freaking Love Goats." Refer to the video in the solution if you are having trouble locating any of them.
Besides "Angel Goat," there are three final achievements that you can unlock in either location. They are "One Ball," "Tony Goat" and "The Flapmaster." Of these three, the only one that may (will) give you issues is "The Flapmaster." It is similar to the popular mobile game called Flappy Bird, but instead of a bird, you are a goat. There are two locations in the game to play this, but regardless of where you play it, it will be difficult and frustrating. This may take you one try or it may take you a hundred, but this one achievement is the reason why the difficulty and completion time for this game is what it is. Good luck.
GoatZ is an add on for the game Goat Simulator. This DLC is a spoof of the zombie genre where you have to survive the apocalypse against both human and goat undead.
The achievements in this DLC are relatively straightforward. There is a good mix of single task achievements and ones that you have to complete in one game. Overall, these aren’t too bad as they are monotonous. And although there are golden goat statues in this DLC, there is no achievement for collecting them all.
Note: It is recommended that you activate both the ‘Casual Goat’ and ‘No Hunger Goat’ mutators. This will prevent you from starving and make you invulnerable.
Inventory Chest Mutator:
If you have the Goat MMO DLC purchased and installed, there is an Inventory Chest mutator which allows you to lick an item and place it in your inventory (instead of dragging it around with your tongue). If you do not have Goat MMO, then this mutator is not available.
This mutator is extremely helpful with the achievements “Survivalist” and “Shattered dreams.” Solutions for both with and without the ‘Inventory’ mutator are provided.
There are three modes: Tutorial, Before Outbreak and After Outbreak. Start a game in the tutorial to unlock the “Too much fun” achievement. All of the other achievements can be unlocked in one ‘After Outbreak’ game.
There are 7 achievements that require you to perform a single task. Some of them can be done immediately (“Big in Japan”, “I am Goat”, “Masterchef” and “Warm Bath”) while others require you to unlock a mutator first (“Goat from above”, “Hang tight” and “Look at it go!”). These should be knocked out first so you can concentrate on the ‘one game’ achievements.
Over the course of the game, you will unlock “Survive for your life” where you need to survive 10 days. Since you have the ‘Casual Goat’ and ‘No Hunger Goat’ mutators on, you can’t die so this will unlock naturally.
The remaining five achievements each have to be done in one game, meaning that you can’t quit playing and come back to them at another time (unless you leave your console on while you are paused in the game). This also means that you can’t restart the game from the menu if you mess up. If you quit out for any reason, you lose all progress. You can play five separate games but it’s easier just to do them all in one if you have the time. Four of the five can be worked on at the same time; “A new challenger has appeared”, “Survivalist”, “The Goa’th amendment” and “Don’t starve”. For “Shattered dreams”, you need to retrieve three barrels in order to freeze and shatter 30 zombies with your breath. These five achievements should take around three hours to complete.
If you follow the guide you should have this DLC completed in about four hours. Congratulations!
Goat MMO DLC
Goat MMO Simulator is an add on for the game Goat Simulator which takes you to a fictional medieval land in search of treasures and glory. Although it has the appearance of an MMO (fake chat, leveling up, quests, etc.), this game is not massive nor is it online, but you can play with up to three friends on the same console, so it technically does include multiplayer.
The achievements in this DLC are very straightforward and don’t take very long to complete. The only achievement that might take some time (and by some time, I mean 15 minutes tops) is collecting the 20 golden goat statues. This DLC is quite easy.
You can tackle the achievements in any order you want. Most of them are straightforward as they only require you to perform a single task, but there are a few where you have to complete a quest or retrieve an item to unlock the achievement. Also, as you move around the land, you will unlock zones for “The Charter Trip”. If you are collecting the golden goat statues for “Love or Hate?”, you will travel through all the zones except for one.
If you follow the guide you should have this DLC completed in less than two hours. Congratulations!
Payday is an add on for the game Goat Simulator. It was released on Steam in January 2016 and borrows its theme of the heist game Payday 2. Enjoy a life of crime with one of four crew members, each with a unique ability:
- Humphrey Chiabatta (the camel) - can spit water from his mouth
- Valentino Salami (the flamingo) - can fly and control NPCs minds
- Dolph Spaghetti (the dolphin) - can raise and lower his when chair and stick to surfaces
- Don Pastrami (the ram) - has no discernable abilities
Use a BAAA machine to start pranks which earn you cash. Spend that cash on crew gear or blow it at the casino. Travel around the brand new map and serve NPCs hamburgers, rescue cats, break into a bank to steal a cheese sandwich or just cruise around with your fellow crew members. The possibilities are endless!
You can tackle the achievements in any order you want. The achievements in this DLC are relatively straightforward as just about all of them are based on doing a single task (with the exception of “Retirement”). That one will probably take you the longest to unlock, and by longest I mean about 30 minutes. Then there’s an achievement for collecting 20 golden heart statues which should take you about another 15 minutes if you follow a video guide.
With the exception of crew member specific achievements (“Goatfellas,” “Goatipede,” and “You raise me up!”), it is recommended that you use Valentino Salami (the flamingo) for everything since he can fly and makes going from location to location much easier.
Below is a YouTube playlist by Achievement Land which has videos for every achievement except “Retirement” and “The Big Score.” Videos for those two are provided in the guide.
If you follow the guide you should have this DLC completed in about 2-3 hours. Congratulations!
Waste of Space is the newest DLC for the game Goat Simulator. You “work” for a crowdfunding company called ‘Crowd Kicker’ where you go around raising funds to open new attractions for the moon colony. Some of the achievements require you to have raised a certain amount of money before you have access to all the attractions.
This DLC makes fun of Star Wars, Alien, Portal, Mass Effect and Doctor Who, among other properties.
The achievements in this DLC are very straightforward and don’t take very long to complete. Some require you to complete a single task while others have multiple steps to complete. You can tackle the achievements in any order you want.
As you go around the map unlocking achievements, headbutt humans and crates and complete tasks to accumulate money towards “I wanna be a baahlionaire.” Scattered around the map are 30 golden rocket collectibles to find to unlock “NERD!” and completing all 8 test chambers will unlock “Testaholic”. Other less time consuming achievements are “It’s working… IT’S WORKING!,” “Use the sword, goat” and “The world is your canvas.”
Then there are achievements that require multiple steps. For “Splishy splashy,” you have to activate and follow the TURDIS around to three locations to access the badehaus. “My little brony” requires you to search the Carrier to collect five pony horses, then you need to destroy 37 glowing green alien eggs for “The alien or the egg?”
“Be not afreight,” “Ruler of the seven skies,” and “Bacon marauder,” where you need to pilot a spaceship and destroy ships, are the most time consuming as the controls are awful, even once you get the hang of them. Still, they’re less frustrating than Flappy Goat.
Provided is a YouTube playlist from Ktcee Achiever which has videos for every achievement in this DLC, so if you are having trouble with anything, refer to these.
If you follow the guide you should have this DLC completed in about five hours. Congratulations!
With the exception of "The Flapmaster," this was a relatively easy 1000. I hope you had fun playing it!
[XBA would like to thank bLaKgRaVy and Maka for this Roadmap]
[XBA would like to thank bLaKgRaVy for the all four DLC Roadmaps]