Trials of the Blood Dragon Review

Dan Webb

Trials is awesome! Blood Dragon is awesome! Both of these IPs are awesome! Trials of the Blood Dragon, however, is not. Trials of the Blood Dragon is actually really fucking awful. It’s a lesson in how not to make a crossover game. It’s a lesson in what’s wrong with the video game industry. It’s a waste of your time. It’s a waste of my time. It’s a waste of money.

Okay, so what exactly makes Trials of the Blood Dragon quite so awful? Well, where do I start? As there are so many things wrong with this travesty. A little background should help: Trials of the Blood Dragon is, like, 25% a Trials game and 75% the worst side-scrolling 2D shooter I have ever played.

So, first things first, let’s talk about what’s good about this game: the actual Trials, 2D bike aspect. It’s as good as ever when they’re doing things right. Even the inclusion of a gun to shoot down stuff doesn’t really detract from what makes a Trials game good. However, there are instances in it where they mess with the gravity and screen rotation which is enough to induce nausea… and that’s not hyperbole, it’s actually enough to make you sick.

The majority of the game though, has you on two-feet, shooting bad guys and what not, and that’s where the game falls down drastically. This 2D aspect is just plain awful and has no place anywhere near a Trials game, but that’s not why it’s so bad, it’s so bad because the mechanics are nowhere near tight or responsive enough to do what the game asks of you.

The jumping isn’t tight enough for the platforming sections and the shooting isn’t fun enough to actually do anything with, it’s all incredibly woeful, truth be told. Because the controls aren’t exactly fun or responsive then, asking you to jump over laser grids, perform stealth sections – why the fuck are there stealth sections in a game like this!? – or take down a generic boss repeating the same action over and over again are just plain boring. Soul sapping. Frustrating.

Then, if you factor in some of the worst sections I’ve ever played in a video game, like flying a guy with a jetpack through a cavern with a bomb attached to his anus with a chain, or dragging a bomb in a trailer through an assault course, you’ll come to realise that Trials of the Blood Dragon is just plain dreadful. Heck, even the Blood Dragon-esque style design can't raise your spirits – to be fair, the story’s not even funny or entertaining either. Trials of the Blood Dragon is one of the worst things I’ve played since I started up this website over 10-years ago.

As for the achievements, who the hell cares. This game is so bad that not even those should entice you. If you must know though: they range from story achievements/trophies to ranking achievements, with the odd collectible achievement thrown in there for good measure. That’s it. There’s only 20 of them and they’re kind of generic. No surprise there then.

It’s fair to say that I hated Trials of the Blood Dragon, and I don’t actually hate a lot of games. In fact, I can’t remember a game that I hated as much as this one and is everything that’s wrong with the games industry. It’s a game that puts a horrible stain on two perfectly successful franchises and offers nothing – absolutely nothing – to the industry as a whole.

There are better 2D bike games out there – i.e. any Trials game up until now – and there are infinitely better 2D platforming, side-scrolling shooters out there, so why Trials of the Blood Dragon exists I will never know. Don’t waste your money on this one, folks. Trials of the Blood Dragon is a game that has no redeeming qualities. Oh, except the fact that it has a sticker book, and that’s it. That. Is. It.

Trials of the Blood Dragon

Why Trials of the Blood Dragon exists, we have no idea… it’s quite clearly one of the worst games I have played, ever, and is a game with no redeeming qualities. Save your money, folks, this one is a stinker. A proper stinker!

Form widget
20%
Audio
70%

The audio is probably the best thing about that game, thanks to its 80s throwbacks. Even then, it could have been so much more iconic.

Visuals
60%

Looks like a Trials game drenched in Blood Dragon neon… not sure what else to say there…

Playability
20%

The only reason it’s getting a 20 and not a 0 is because of the perfectly decent bike sections, which are few and far between.

Delivery
20%

Awful, just awful. It’s a blight on both franchises. Not enough Trials, with shoddy 2D platforming and shooting, just awful. Did I mention it's awful?

Achievements
20%

That’s one point for every achievement. Generic, bland, and unimaginative… a lot like the game itself.

Game navigation